MEMENTO MORI (a fyolai fanfic)

CHAPTER 3

FROM THE LAST CHAPTER: 

That was the deal breaker. I didn't respond but my expression should've said it all...He's perfect.

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NIKOLAI'S POV

It had been a couple of days since I saw Fedya. I don't know what came over me, but I felt trapped again, but in more restricting cage than before. Every thing about him made me crave that sweet, delectable feeling of flight and wind, not the suffocating density of Moscow. His pale, non-blemished skin, those magenta eyes that held such little empathy consumed my thoughts. 

I was again walking through these cold, uncaring streets of Moscow. The snow seemed to be out to trap me in the bird cage i sought to escape in the first place. I tightly held Fedya's ushanka in my hand, my hands too frozen over to even let go.

Where was he anyways? He left my house in the blink of an eye...

FLASHBACK:

I continued asking him riddles for what felt like hours...then suddenly, he asked his first ever question to me.

"What do you want most from this life?" His voice, still maintaining that cold dead stare into my eyes, analysing everything about me. I felt completely translucent in front of his unwavering gaze, it made me feel as though I had nothing to hide from him. For the first time, I think I even stuttered. What did I want? I wanted food, I wanted a clean place to sleep, I wanted to feel free from this city...from this world...

"Freedom." 

He chuckled at that statement. He smiled. He closed his eyes while doing so. He looked like an angel but also a demon. I felt torn. Why was he laughing? 

I blinked and he was gone. Just like that.

END OF FLASHBACK: 

I continued to hold his hat close to my chest. Almost as if it was a piece of divinity given to me from God himself. Where was he? Fedya or God...either one worked out for me. 

My journey's goal changed. I was dedicated to finding him. I spent ages looking through each street, each shop. Was he even rich enough to afford even a tie from these shops? Hours went by and I almost gave up...Maybe i was just hallucinating from hunger.

I sat down on the steps of a nearby church. Its cross at the top of the tower shone above all among the still snow that was laid down around. What day was it anyways? I counted the days on my hand trying to figure out which day it was. 

Sunday. 

Today was Sunday. It was still the morning...maybe i could sneak into the mass and take that bread and wine that they give out? It's not like Jesus'll mind if i take a nibble out of his body. He's feeding the hungry after all by doing do so.

With my newfound plan in action, I quietly entered the church. Immediately the sense of Frankincense hit my nose like an avalanche, I tried the hardest not to cough. The dimly lit building was warm, almost like a wet kind of warm...it was better than nothing to be honest... I awkwardly took a seat at the wooden pews. This one lady looked at me, confused but ultimately shrugged me off to pay attention to the priest. 

He spoke with such a monotone voice, droning on and on about Jesus' miracles or something, I tried to listen but ultimately droned off...

There was a sudden jostle of noise and soon there was the procession. Communion's almost here. Owe you for that one, Jesus!