Love on the Pitch

The Heart at a Tug of War

Ishan felt an overwhelming surge of emotions, timidity, excitement, dejection, longing, apprehension surrounded him, absolutely imprisoned him, however, one thing he didn't felt which he had been feeling for days and days was the confusion, all his doubts were crystal clear now and undoubtedly he was in love with his bestfriend, Shubman Gill, he was in love with a person he shouldn't have fallen for.

He wonders when and how did it happen.... memories flashing in his mind like a film
Perhaps then when he was persistent to bring Shubman out of his shell in their former days because he just couldn't withstand the boy being all nervous and insecure when he had so much potential and was born to be a star, perhaps then when he saw him smiling for the first time and he wanted to dive deep into those dimples and never come out again, perhaps then when Shubman followed him like a puppy being attached to his hip and he pushed him away pretending to be irritated but secretly liked it, perhaps then when knowingly or unknowingly Shubman had become his habit, perhaps then when he himself felt physically hurt whenever Shubman got injured, perhaps then when he celebrated Shubman's victory like his own, perhaps then when his heart skipped a beat whenever a smile smeared Shubman's lips making his applecheeks puffed and eyes creased, perhaps then whenever Shubman frowned at him not understanding anything and leaned closer for an explanation, perhaps then when Shubman smiled at him and his dark brown eyes sparkled beaming nothing but innocence and giddy, perhaps then when Shubman looked at him with those puppy eyes radiating nothing but pureness, perhaps then when everytime Shubman engulfed him into a warm embrace and he felt comfort sheathing him like he couldn't know comfort better than this, like comfort wouldn't even exist without this man, perhaps then whenever they met after a long time and Shubman jumped on him hugging him tight and he felt he had finally reached home even though he might be returning from 'home' only, perhaps then when he felt dearth of 'something' whenever they were seperated, perhaps then whenever Shubman looked up at him while resting head on his lap and the words fell into silence and all he could focus was on that goddamn smile, perhaps then when Shubman's happiness started to matter more than his own, perhaps he had fallen long ago or perhaps he had fallen a moment before, perhaps he knew it all along or perhaps he realised it a moment before, perhaps he kept falling deeper each time or perhaps he fell hard altogether, all he knew is that he couldn't fall out now.

"Ishu, what's up? Is everything okay?"

Raj bhai's concerned voice snapped him out of trance as he took a deep breath, nodding, "Yes, everything is fine, bhaiya. Mai apko baad mein call karta hun, mummy se baat karlunga mai, okay?"

"Han chalo theek hai, hum bhi pahunch hi gye, baad mein baat karte hain, bye"

"Bye"

Ishan hung up tossing the phone away as the click of door opening seized his attention, he looked towards it only to find a tall dark figure timorously entering.

"Ish" Shubman softly yet worriedly called before closing the door behind himself, switching on the lights making things to be visible he proceeded towards Ishan to sit beside him who just quietly stared at him unlike his very rapidly beating heart.

"Ish" Shubman uttered again with lines of brood crimping his forehead, looking like he was about to cry he hesitantly stretched his hand to caress Ishan's cheek, his gaze studying other's swollen eyes, "Tu theek hai?"
He asked and Ishan just nodded in return casting his eyes down causing Shubman's hand to remain in empty air. Pursing his lips, he awkwardly placed it on his own lap, peeking at Ishan's side profile.

"Erm, look I-I am not good at this-" Shubman stuttered hearing Ishan scoff and glance at him, "I know".

Shubman paused before again resuming, "What were you doing sitting alone in the dark and why didn't you come down for dinner?"