𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓼 || 𝓟𝓙𝓜

Guilt?

Rubbing his palms against each other, trying to clean his hands from the light drizzle he forwarded his hand to the kitten. The kitten once again stepped back. Jimin looked down at his hand. Does this hand deserve company? After all, it did satisfy the devil from within himself.

Jimin sighed when there was another lightening strike. He watched the kitten poorly shiver in fear and cold and once again looked down at his hand, he wanted to scoff at himself but- the next lightening echoed loudly around the whole city as the kitten unknowingly scooted closer to his legs in an instant.

Jimin hesitated, but after a second thought he softly carried the poor creature in his hands. And even though at first it resisted, it couldn't avoid the unfamiliar warmth his body radiated in this cold weather.

Sitting inside the car, he grabbed some tissues from the backseat and patted the kitten dry. It still was wet, but the shivering had lessened a bit. Looking up at the weather once again he felt something within him but he couldn't waste any more time here as he quickly drove off while holding that kitten tightly.

Reaching his guest house, he was surprised by how much the falling of rain had increased. Exiting the car, he quickly ran inside his guest house not wanting to get the kitten even more wet.

Few minutes later

Rubbing his slightly damp hair with a dry towel, he watched the dry kitten licking water and hydrating himself. Unknowingly a small smile erupted from his lips.

Crouching in front of the kitten, he watched as it gave no reaction to him and continued with drinking water, even though his eyes caught the slight flinch of his body when he got near.

The kitten finished drinking and looked up at Jimin. Jimin slightly tilted his head, admiring the beauty of the black and white kitten. Raising his hand, he softly patted his head and he unknowingly leaned forward to his touch, purring as Jimin continued to caress his head.

After a while, the kitten was on his lap as he kept on caressing its head. Now everything had been done, he did feel a slight change in the guest house since the second he appeared, but what had not changed ever since two days that all this didn't surprise him anymore.

Carrying the kitten in his arms, he stood up from the floor and walked towards his room. His eyes on the kitten who was already looking at him while clenching onto his shirt.

Entering inside his room, he threw the now wet towel onto the basket inside the closet and walked to sit on the bed. His phone rang and he picked it up from the table he left it at before he went to take a shower. Looking at the name, his chest tightened and after a moment of thinking he hesitantly answered the call.

"Jimin-ah... it's dangerous to stay out now in this weather, when will you come back?"

Jimin shut his eyes, his grip on the phone tightening as inhaled in a deep breath. Opening his eyes, he hastily exhaled and replied, "I'm in my guest house, I'll be staying here till the rain stops."

"Oh- o-okay... take care."

"Hm... yo-..." He shut his eyes once again. Why were such unknown words to him, escaping from his mouth?

"You t-too." He quickly ended the call and threw the phone across the bed and that's when... his eyes landed on the portrait hanging on the wall. The kitten too was staring at it ever since he entered the room.

Jimin felt as if his eyes were deceiving him. It's her. Unknowingly he stood up as his feet took him to stand right in front of the portrait. He exhaled a breath he never knew he was holding. His trembling hands raised to touch the portrait mindlessly. And that's when a thunder struck and he halted when the kitten cuddled to his leg.

Looking down at the kitten, he looked back at her... he scoffed painfully. Bending down he picked up the kitten and walked back to the bed, lying on the soft mattress, he placed the kitten on his chest and simply stared at it. His eyes unknowingly going back to the portrait as he sighed.

"You see that woman?" The kitten looked back at where he was pointing his index finger. The portrait.

"She hates me. So much." He chuckled, "I knew that... but still..." the kitten looked back at him, "I made her hate me more."

Jimin smiled painfully, "Who doesn't hate me huh? She would only hate me... but what about the people who turned me to this... including my very own parents... they won't receive any hate, cause why? No one cares where you're from unless you don't have the fame and name to cover all that up."

Jimin sighed and looked at the creature that was now lying on his chest, while still looking at him, "Some say that it hurts to be useless..." he chuckled as he caressed the kitten's head and this time it didn't purr, instead just quietly stared at him, waiting for him to continue, "but it hurts more to be used by people for their own desires while ruining your own happiness." His eyes once again landed on the portrait and he felt his eyes tearing up, "That's what I experienced and that's the experience that I gave to her." His voice lowered.

Would anyone understand what he felt? They would only blame him. His past doesn't matter. Where he came from doesn't matter. What some people, including his own parents did to him doesn't matter. Everything that molded that small angel into the devil, he is today doesn't matter. Why? Cause of course, people are judgmental. And the funny fact, they are no angel themselves. No matter, how much they deny cause of the toxic trait and trend these days... they will still judge you in small groups or even in silence. Even this kitten over here would-

Jimin's thoughts came to a halt when he felt a lick on his face. Looking at the kitten, his pooled up tears finally fell, his heart immediately opening up to himself when it hit the chance, "I don't regret meeting her... I just wish I could have not ruined her at least." He quickly turned to his side as the kitten fell on the mattress, right beside him. The pillow embraced his tears as he quietly heard the thunder. Feeling a slight movement, he looked down to see the kitten lying next to him and staring at him.

Jimin's lips curled up to a small smile as he held the kitten close to him, both of them embracing each other's warmth in this cold night.

Jimin looked at the portrait and wondered to himself, "I don't know what made me change my thoughts in a very short while... is it cause maybe Anika's smile brought more pain than her tears? I could have witnessed her smiles without feeling anything- but that heaviness remained somewhere within me."

"I just wish that I had been around the right people so that I could have treated her right. Maybe if I was around the right people..., then I would have been happy." Jimin painfully smiled. He doesn't deserve her. He obviously doesn't... and he can't live in front of her if she continues to smile like this. Just like he said, her smiles brought him more pain than her tears, cause then he realized that he was the one who made her lose that beautiful smile in the first place. After their second meeting..., that's it... she never smiled to him after that... and now?

Jimin shut his eyes as tears escaped through the edges of his petals, "What honestly happened to me?" Up until now he was confused about the changes around him, but just within a day, the changes within him was shocking himself to the core.

Suddenly he thought about that frame. He was sure that it has something to do with whatever these changes meant. He needs to check out that frame.