Twisted tale of their fate : Anandita

6: Shroud of grief

To bondita

When past collides with present so it often tends to cast it's shadow upon future . And the present in which we live it reflects the past which we had lived .
Demise of Rekha ji unravels so many layers of pain and apart from us there was someone else who silently wept maybe his tears were lost in darkness of night but his pain resurfaced .

My kaka , trilochan roy choudhury

He practically raised us bondita since the moment maa died he took us under his affection , efficiently handling both zamindari and three motherless sons but never we found him to complaining even a bit as life became chaotic i went towards my destination but kaka continued to nurture som & batuk . And on different occasions I saw his regal aura of being a perfect zamindar managing everything but deep down remembering that woman who holds the key to his heart . Maybe the attraction of youth faded with the invincible lines marked by society , their story was ended years ago but his pain accompanying him like a shadow often piercing his tormented heart with remorse .
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Minutes ticked away into years , and with passing time kadambari became the forgotten character erasing her presence from his life but her memories never remains like a last thread of sanity which trilochan was holding , as his shaking fingers gripped the tattered piece of cloth like he was holding his past . Golden embroidery shimmered due the flickering flame of dim lit lamp , it was her first gift something not so regal like his status of zamindar but each word which was etched in that plain cloth carried her affection , those innocent emotions which were forbidden for both of them .

Trilochan agony overshadowed by his duties but the regret never left him , those words came back hitting him but amid the scattered ruins of past he found himself tangled in web of memories .

Past

The vast streched expanse of ganga ghats provided much needed solace to trilochan and the emptiness seems to be tranquil unlike the hustle bustle busy city life of Calcutta , it was his first trip to the city that holds both the influence of Britishers & essence of revolutionaries . Gushing waters of ganga seems to suppressed his loneliness and with its each spritual touch trilochan felt the warmth of his deceased mother dripping in form of those waves .

"You should ask for my company zamindar Babu "

Female voice broke his trance as trilochan gaze fixated at the figure of kadambari who stood there draped in plain green saree , hairs tied in braid cascaded through her waist length. Trilochan sighed in dejection she was the last person whom he wants to meet amid such tranquil solace .

"Girls should not roam alone in such lonely hours of morning "

Kadambari twitched her brows as disappointment hung heavy upon air his irrational ideology always felt so odd for her . "And who are you decide where we should roam or not "
She spoke while sitting in cold steps of riverbank casting a veil of confusion .

"It's for your safety kadambari women are meant to be protected "

Kadambari was different from all the women he meet , like a wave washing away all restrictions & societal norms with her and trilochan knew that in patriarchal dominated society her unjustified courage will surely subtoagage her survival but no matter how much he despises her presence kadambari always intrigued him from her sharp vision to infinite thirst for knowledge everything distinguished her from other women who never dared to cross the line which confines their duties .

"And from whom you will protect us zamindar Babu from those Britishers whom your family always bows their head or from men who think that woman has no choice of their own "

It was the stab for trilochan each word which she spoke seems so sharp for him the tinge of reality which those words reflected was overshadowed by his father teachings , which binds him everytime no matter what girl sitting beside him was rambling but for him it was going against his beliefs .

"It's your farewell gift hope you will like it "

Kadambari said while shoving a plain yellow handkerchief , and his engraved name shimmered due to the rays of sun . It was so simple not be accepted by the son of roy choudhury but something stopped him that maybe her questions or his thudding heart he simply accepted it like a seal of approval .

His tears fall upon that old piece of cloth and trilochan let them fall years of pain , regret , anger & guilt washed away with his tears and those words escaped from his quivering lips striking the chords of his broken soul .

"I missed you kadambari "

"I missed you ....."
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Her trembling fingers trailed over the inked words and with each word there was something new , untold tales unravelling with each line and as the past unfolds bondita realised how in present woman behind those words didn't exist anymore .

To bondita
I was born as a daughter for my maa I was her everything but for baba I resembles his defeat but still I continued to grew up admist the affection of maa & anger of baba but my destiny was also sealed being tied in knots of parineeta to my husband I became from innocent Rekha to someone wife .
And from there the end of timid Rekha begins through the chaos of my failed married life I found respite in memories of my dead child who died inside my womb only but still I was living maybe in a hope that everything will be alright .
But that last chord of hope also died with my husband death and I choose life bondita it was not easy to live such colourless life each time people looked towards you with sheer hatred and when that last thread of patience broke meak Rekha died washed away with violent waves of ganga and since then new Rekha was born amid the ruins of my own life i tried to live this another chance and the woman you meet was just a daughter of her motherland .
Bondita i saw a rage in your eyes which can burn Evey evil of society and never let that fire diminish . My blessings are always with you.
Rekha

Anirudh saw her tears staining the letters and a surge of pride washed over him , Rekha was indeed fighter not because she choose the path of kranti but also for her choice , indeed her life was full of misery but still she dedicated it for cause of her motherland .
As his gaze rested upon bondita it felt he was not sitting with same girl whom he knew she looked so lost , broken absorbing the death of her Rekha didi .

"Bondita "

"You should have told me barrister Babu I deserved to know the truth i am not intelligent enough to understand such twisted situations but I only rely upon you "

With the darkness of night bondita felt that alongwith her Rekha didi she lost the inspiration & zeal to live only to never return back .
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You were way broken to such extent bondita that you even accused me , Rekha ji death surely felt a never ending mark upon you and after sumati maa first time I saw you being attached with someone to such extent .

Rekha ji sacrifice unravels many new paths for you maybe for an instant grief overpowered you but I know how such situations only made my bondita much more stronger .

Your's anirudh

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