Only you

18

"I wouldn't be risking your career for a body like hers, Charles; get out while you can. She knows her worth, and she'll come crawling back to me."

The Gaberial turned away and walked through the crowd behind him. When he was finally out of my sight, I let myself feel all the emotions I was holding back. That was the first time I had seen him since that night. 1 and a half years ago, since I caught him. Since I walked out and never looked back. 

That was the same night I promised myself that I would never let anyone ever control my life again.

I could feel my skin burning. I was slowly struggling to breathe. My vision was blurry, and I couldn't get any words out. Fuck I was having a panic attack. 

I looked at Charles and grabbed his arm. He could sense that something wasn't right. We had only been here for a few hours, but I had to get out of here. 

"Hey, Hey. Lucia, I have you. It's going to be ok. We will get out of here. Just breathe for me."

I could hear what he was saying, but I couldn't respond. All I was trying to do was act like nothing was happening. We walked back towards where I came in from, and I didn't care right now that all the cameras and media were pointed at us and captured us leaving together. 

I was about to get into the car that was here to pick us up when I looked back into the venue and saw Gaberial smirking at me like he knew he still had a hold on me. That he was able to get under my skin and hurt me. 

And I absolutely hated that. 

The journey back to the hotel mostly consisted of Charles speaking reassuring words to help calm me down and trying to get me to breathe normally. I was able to calm down once we reached the hotel lobby, and Charles insisted he take me back to my room to make sure I was really ok. I tried to fight him on this, but I was so exhausted that I let him have his way.  

God, he must be thinking I'm so weak. He should have never seen me like that. 

But I guess if he hadn't been there, I think I would have ended up leaving with Gaberial, so I am thankful that he was there. 

Once in the room, a sudden awkwardness surrounded us. I couldn't look at Charles. I was scared to see what he might be thinking. 

I think he knew this as well. 

"Look at me, Lucia, please. I need to see that you are ok."

I slowly raised my head and met his gaze. He didn't look disgusted at me for how I reacted to Gaberial. He looked worried like he was hurting to see me hurt. No one had ever been hurt because I had been hurting before.

 He guided me to sit on my bed, and he sat next to me. 

"Who was that Lucia?"

I knew this question was coming. I knew I didn't owe him an explanation, I could be defensive and tell him to leave and that he had no right to ask. He doesn't know me, and he sure as hell doesn't want to be my friend. 

But I really wanted to tell someone the truth; not even Max knew the truth. Part of me wanted to tell him because I had to get it off my chest; the other part wanted him to know so he could know the real me. I don't know why, but I only ever want him to know the real me if he wants to get to know me.