the stars in your eyes | t.s. one shots

i can do it with a broken heart

Taylor sits across the table from her friend Abigail, the two sipping glasses of wine as they share a much needed catch-up. It's been several months- Taylor's been holed up in rehearsals for her upcoming Eras tour. She's off to Arizona in only a few weeks to complete the process in the stadium, then open up the tour.

But those rehearsals haven't been the only reason that Taylor's been distant lately. She'd be remiss to only blame it on that. But she wasn't planning on admitting that tonight. Not until Abigail asks the question she'd been dreading, that is.

"And how's Joe doing? How's his film shoot going?"

Taylor runs her fingers through her hair. "He left last week and... uh... honestly, I haven't heard from him. But I'm sure he's fine. He's just really busy."

The redhead's eyes widen as she looks across the table to her best friend, seeing that all of the color has seemingly drained from Taylor's face at the mere mention of her boyfriend of six years. Abi feels a pit grow deep down in her stomach. She knows that look a little too well, the desperation on Taylor's face, the willingness to grasp at any reason to overlook the issues. It was exactly what she was feeling when she went through her own divorce.

"Tay..." Abi says, looking to the superstar with raised eyebrows. "What's up?"

"It's been really difficult," she admits in a small voice. "It's fine, though. It is what it is."

Abigail knows that it is actually anything but fine. Still, she also knows that she can't force anything out of Taylor. So instead, she says, "You know I'm always here to listen if you need it."

After a moment of silence, Taylor presses her wine glass to her lips and takes a sip before beginning to speak. "It's not the kind of difficult that relationships are supposed to be," she says through a shaky voice. "Like, I know, and everyone who I talk to keeps telling me, 'relationships are hard work; just keep going.' But that just... I don't know, it feels like bullshit advice, you know? And it was my mom who told me that. The woman who got divorced after over twenty years of marriage... so I just don't know why she wants me to hold on so badly. And I love her so much, but I just... she's not seeing it, you know? It doesn't feel like normal stuff. Everyone just expects us to push through because we've been together for so long. That's the safe thing to do. But I don't know if I can." The words just flow out; it almost feels like Taylor can't control it. Her voice cracks on the final sentence, and that's the only thing that shuts her up. A little gasp escapes her lips as she realizes what she's just admitted to.

Abi looks at Taylor, her lips pursed together. "What's been happening, exactly?"

That's when the floodgates open. Tears start to fall down Taylor's face. Just knowing that Abi is here, that she's going to listen, and that she's not going to judge- it's exactly what she needs. Abi has been right by her side for more than half of her life. She's supported every decision that Taylor has made, never once questioned her. Never once made her feel like she was being too dramatic about something that was causing her distress, never once made her feel like less than she is.

"It all started back when I was planning for the tour. Like, way before it was ever announced to the public, but there were starting to be discussions about how big it was gonna be, what the show was going to look like, what the ticket demand was going to be... all those sorts of things. He was included in them. He was such-" Taylor stops, catching herself and her language. "He is such an important part of my life. So, of course I had him in the room when these discussions were happening. But we went home one night, and he told me that he didn't want me to go on tour. That he was afraid I'd get 'overexposed' and it would ruin everything we'd worked for to build a private life for ourselves. It was such bullshit, and I called him on it. It was... the biggest and worst fight we'd ever had. And... we'd had our differences in the past, but I just couldn't quite let this one go."