A Sirius Problem

Kaitlyn

I walked through the halls with little Kait in my arms. She was wriggling and heavy but I pressed on toward the common room. I felt my arms sagging under her weight and movement when suddenly soft hands pulled her from me. 

Pandora smiled at me as she rocked Kaitlyn. I smiled at her as we entered the common room and quickly went to my new room. Flitwick thankfully decided that I should have my own room with Kaitlyn, though Pandora spent many nights with me. 

Kaitlyn's eyes fluttered as we entered the dark and warm room. I collapsed on my soft bed, thankful the day was ending. I could handle Kaitlyn, she was my angel. It was the stares, the whispers, the assumptions.

"You should take a nap," Pandora whispered, laying Kaitlyn in her crib. I nodded. 

"I know, but I have homework," I muttered. She shook her head. 

"Your rest is important, how much do you have?" she asked sitting next to me. I sat up and sighed. 

"An essay for Slughorn and McGonagall, two for Flitwick and I have to raise a plant successfully," I grumbled. "Honestly Dora, I'm trying to raise a child, I don't have time to raise a plant," Pandora rolled her eyes as she stood and pulled me up by my arms. I slumped forward and smiled sleepily up at her. 

"I'm sure McGonagall would shorten the length of the essay for you, I'll handle your plant and  Lily can help you with Slughorn's essay. Now sleep dear," I smiled when she bent down to hug me. I sighed into her shoulder. 

"Thank you, Dora," I muttered. She pulled away and smiled, walking to Kait's cradle. She lifted my little girl and took her into her arms. 

"Molly's coming to pick her up tomorrow, remember," Pandora said. "For now I'll take her while you rest," I nodded but felt slightly guilty pushing her on Molly. 

"Are we sure Molly is okay with this?" I asked. Pandora rolled her eyes. 

"Yes. She has Bill's help with Charles so she can focus on Kait," I grinned. "Did you hear Charles is pulling up on things and crawling?" I lightly shake my head laying back on my bed. 

"She said it's adorable how Bill follows Charles around, picking up the thing he knocks over or cleaning up spills," I recalled. I heard Pandora's light laugh and I joined her shortly. 

"I can't wait to watch the three of them interact," I smiled as I heard the door shut. The room echoed with silence and soon I was asleep.

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I held Kaitlyn to my chest as Lily, Remus, Pandora, and I studied. My right arm was sore from holding her for so long. I shifted her and she let out a cry. I fought the urge to swear and quickly exited the library. 

Her sobbing never ceased as I left and headed for outside. My head pounded from the sound. With our finals around the corner and the Order going into a frenzy, I always had a headache. I sat by the lake and held her tightly. Her tears continued, loudly. 

I sighed and walked to the edge of the forest. I sat against a tree and put her head under my shirt. I hummed a song as she ate. The warm April breeze seemed like the only good thing going on around England. My eyes fluttered shut as I held Kaitlyn. 

This moment was my peace in the chaos, the eye of the hurricane, rest from pain. Nothing was fair, this war wasn't fair. All I looked forward to was graduating and moving into a house with my joy. 

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Sirius and I walked around the grounds quietly. Kaitlyn was strapped to my front sleeping. As we walked Sirius lightly swung our hands. He suddenly leaned down and kissed my head then Kaitlyn's. I smile up at him. 

"What was that for?" I asked laughing softly. He shrugged, looking forward at the castle. 

"Nothing in particular, I just love you," he grinned at me as I blushed. 

"I love you too," I muttered. He smirked and we kept walking. I let out a long breath, closing my eyes. The sun hit us perfectly. My skin tingled at the feeling of the sun's rays. 

"Sirius, Arabella," Looking up, I saw James and Lily. I smiled and let go of Sirius's hand. Lily hugged my side and then lightly kissed Kaitlyn's covered head. 

"How are you feeling?" she asked, walking with me as James and Sirius ran off. I watched them leave. 

"A lot stronger," I muttered. "Lily, where are they going?" she looked down, despair in her eyes. 

"James's parents are dead. Sirius was under their name so he and James are leaving for St. Mugos," I covered my mouth as my eyes watered. 

"That's awful," I whispered. Lily nodded as we kept walking. 

"James just broke down when he heard. It was so frustrating, knowing I couldn't do anything," she expressed, throwing her head back. Her red hair was carelessly thrown into a bun, much like mine. We walked to the lake and sat down. 

"I'm sorry," I said, pulling Kaitlyn from her holder and setting her on the ground. She opened her green eyes and grinned at the lake. As I pulled off the holder, Lily lunged at Kaitlyn. 

"Grass isn't food," she said, ripping the grass from Kaitlyn's hands. I laughed as Kaitlyn turned to Lily, looking offended. 

"Oh, sweetheart here," I passed Kaitlyn a waiffer and she sat against my leg munching. I rolled my eyes and shared a look with Lily. Lily laughed softly and turned to the lake. The water glittered. I let out a breath as I held Kaitlyn upright. 

"It will be hard leaving," Lily whispered. I nodded. 

"I don't know where I'm going," I muttered. She looked at me for a minute before smiling. 

"Come live near Godric's Hollow,"  she said. "James and I will be there," she added. I nodded, thoughtfully. 

"I couldn't afford one of those houses alone," I said, shaking the idea. Lily smirked. 

"Who says you'll be alone? Sirius might just come to live with you," I laughed but knew it was a possibility. Sirius would if I asked. 

"I don't know. I hope but I don't know," I said as I felt something wet against my leg. I rolled my eyes when I looked. Kaitlyn looked wide-eyed at me, her mouth pressed against my skin. I laughed and picked her up. She hugged me and I held her tighter. Lily grinned at us. 

"You have that little package of joy," she said. I nodded, closing my eyes as tears built. 

"I know," I murmured, turning my face to kiss Kaitlyn's neck. "I love her," I whispered. Lily smiled. 

"I can't wait to have that," Lily said. I laughed shortly. 

"I wish I could have but I love her nonetheless," Lily nodded. 

"I don't think I'll wait for this war to end," she said, looking at the low sun. "I don't want to be controlled by war," she explained. I nodded slowly as I felt Kaitlyn go limp. 

"That's something to talk about with James," she nodded. 

"I will, as soon as he's settled with his parent's death," I nodded and reached to strap Kaitlyn to me again. "And as soon as he's proposed," she laughs softly. 

"That's wise," I smiled as she moved around to clip Kaitlyn to me. "Maybe someday Sirius will think like that," Lily laughed and walked around to help me stand. I stood and pulled the cover over Kaitlyn's head. 

"I think he is," she said, looking at the lake. The sun hit the horizon as we stood watching. 

"I hope so but I don't want to rush him. He'd be gaining a wife and a daughter," I said. Lily tilted her head as she looked at me. She smiled. 

"Come on, let's put Kaitlyn to bed," I laughed softly and nodded. 

"Agreed, before she wakes up," I joked. Lily and I laughed, walking to the castle.