A Sirius Problem

Death

I sat at lunch pushing my food around my plate. Peter, who was right across from me, gave me a sad look. He looked from my food to me.

"Arabella, would you like something else?" He asked hesitantly. I looked up from my trance and shook my head.

"I'm just not very hungry," I said. He tilted his head at me and I smiled. "I'm okay, Peter. Thank you though," I vaguely noticed the others watching us. I just shook it from my thoughts.

We walked to class and Marlene stood next to me, Dorcas on my other side. I listened to them talk about learning French. 

Pandora taught me some but I wasn't fluent. I kept my head forward as we walked. I knew my advanced runes class was with Regulus. Hopefully, Pandora, Regulus, and I could sit together. 

Pandora was walking with Peter and Mary. Pandora often joined the Marauders, girls, and me when we hung out. However, most of the time she was with Xeno. 

Those two were made for each other. We walked into potions and Slughorn clapped for us to sit. I sat down and my head lulled. I was exhausted.

I spent half the night silently crying. My brother sent me a letter, our parents and youngest sister were dead. 

He and Griffin were fine and staying at Ilvamorny under the care of the headmaster. Still, the shock and sadness put me in a bad spot. I didn't know my parents or siblings well but I still missed them.

My head hurt as I kept snapping back from half-sleep. Marlene tugged my sleeve and shrugged her shoulder, smiling. I sent a questioning look and she nodded. 

I scooted my chair and leaned on her. She took my hand and squeezed it. Dorcas took my notebook and started jotting things down quickly. I sighed and closed my eyes.

——

A hand shook me lightly. I looked up and smiled at Pandora. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Marlene kissed my head and walked out with the Gryffindors. I smiled and Pandora handed me my bag.

"I heard you," she said softly. I looked at her, pretending to be confused.

"What?" I asked. She half smiled.

"You were crying, what happened?" I looked down as we walked. My robes seemed to weigh me down.

"My parents and Kaitlyn died in an accident," she turned, mouth agape and eyes sad.

"Bella," she muttered and crushed me in a hug. I let her hold me tightly as I put my arms around her. Tears seeped through my closed eyes. "Are John and Griffin alright?" She asked. I nodded.

"They're fine, they're staying at their school," I said as we kept walking. When we entered I saw Regulus lounging in a chair. I wiped my eyes, and Pandora and I sat on either side of him. He smiled at Pandora and then at me.

"How are you two?" He asked, eyes forward. Pandora smiled.

"I'm well, quite enjoying the weather," she said. Her voice shifted to its melodious tone, and I saw Regulus visibly relax.

"That's wonderful," he said. I smiled as he turned to look at me. He looked at me and furrowed his brow, turning to face me entirely. 

"Mon chéri," he said softly. I smiled at him as his thumb ghosted over my cheek. "What's happened?" He asked.

"My parents and Kaitlyn," I said, plainly. His face dropped slightly, in understanding.

"I am so sorry," he said, his hand dropping to take mine. I smiled.

"Thank you, it hurts more than I thought it ever would," I said, looking down. He sighed. "Have you been assigned to it?" I asked suddenly.

 I hoped he would answer, something needed to be going right. He tilted his head and glanced at Pandora.

"Yes," he muttered. "If it all goes as planned, I will destroy it after my seventh year," he said. I squeezed his hand.

"Perfect," I said. "Just be careful," I said as people filled the room. Xeno sat with two boys from our house. He listened to them speak, politely. I could tell he wasn't happy but I saw joy in him.

"Reg?" Pandora said. He turned.

"Yes, love?" I smiled as she asked something about Runes that she already knew. Regulus laughed and gently went over it. We were the only ones I ever saw him like this with. He was so closed off. So alone. I shook my head. 

We were the only ones he called love, dear, his, chéri. We were the only ones he confided in, and talked to. He was the only man we pretended to be dumb for, the only man I ever held, the only man I let hold my hand, the only one I cried for. 

Soon class started and we sat in silence. Regulus held my hand under the table and I squeezed it tightly.