The Desire Variable | Rewrite

⸻ THIRTY-THREE ⸻

There's another moment of silence, and Lex clears his throat. "Sending a picture to your consultant would be wise."

"Sorry, I don't trust the internet," I humor. He chuckles, and my heart flutters with contentment.

"Then send one where you're not in it."

"Oh, smart! Give me a second," I say, looking around. I find a mannequin wearing it and send him a picture. "Done."

There's a moment of nothing, and Lex groans.

"What's the point of it going all the way to the shoulders if it doesn't even cover the chest?" he asks, confused and audibly turned on.

"Well, the only perk of having barely any boobs is I don't have to wear bras, so I can afford some creativity."

"I like your breasts." His blunt honesty touches me, and my chest swells further.

"Thank you, but there isn't much to like."

"There's enough. And I'm discovering myself to be an ass man."

"Ah, then you got lucky."

"Several times already, yes." God, I love his quick and witty humor. "I like the pink one in the top left corner of the picture."

We talk for a little longer, and I'm the one who ends up cutting the call, arguing he can't know in advance everything I'm getting. He deserves to have a few surprises. Which he certainly will, as I nearly spend a thousand dollars there. But I'm kind of rich since I sold my app, so I rationalize the spending by telling myself it's a rare treat and it'll make two people very, very happy.

Later that day, Tammy and I are curled up on the couch, watching a romantic comedy. Once it's done, I leave for the bathroom to get ready for the night. When I return to my room, wearing my towel, I open my wardrobe to grab a shirt for the night, and my eyes drop to the shopping bags I cleverly handled so my roommate wouldn't see the very recognizable Victoria's Secret pink and black stripes.

After I lock my door, I take it all out. One by one, I fish my items out, admiring the fine quality of my new things. Delighted with my investment, I lay it all on my bed. I can't wait to see Lex's face as he discovers each of those ensembles.

I'm so eager for it that an idea blooms in my mind.

Maybe now would be a great time to thank him for the pic he so generously sent me. Trying not to overthink it, I impulsively grab the pink balconette bra and retro high-waisted panties he told me he liked. I hang my towel and slip the ensemble on. The bra's cut is so clever, it almost looks like I'm a solid B-cup. I glimpse at myself in the full-length mirror of my wardrobe, hesitating.

The outfit is gorgeous, but I'm not confident enough with my body to take a picture and send it to Lex. I know all too well that he's used to nudes from women with Victoria's Secret bodies rather than just the lingerie. When we first met in the elevator, that woman in the pic looked flawless, blonde, slender, with fantastic boobs, a toned stomach, and a bomb body. And he was unfazed by that nude back then. How the fuck will he react to me in my underwear, then? I'm nowhere near that level of perfection.

But he really likes me, doesn't he? He won't mind my flat chest and wide hips.

To give myself some courage, I take the kimono I just bought and put it on, leaving it open and hanging on my shoulder. I do some touch-ups on my makeup and add ruby lipstick. Once I feel ready, I fluff my hair and take a pic, holding the phone in front of me. The result doesn't suit me, so I take another, and another...

I take well over thirty pictures, trying different poses, kimono off the shoulders, off only one, without it... I try different angles, from the front, slightly to the side, completely to the side... I try not to hide my face with the phone, to hold it up, next to my face, at chest level...