He sighed, "Do I have to keep the beginning the same?"

"Yep."

After a long, long time he finally pressed send. When he did, he shut Andi's phone off so that she couldn't see what he'd said. Within milliseconds, a notification made Oscar stop trying to put Andi's phone back on its stand.

"What'd he say?" Andi asked.

"Uhm, he said—" Oscar read the message without unlocking the phone, "Thanks, see you later, smiley face, Miss you—" he paused, "Miss you, sweetie pie?" he glanced at Andi, who didn't react at all, "Then he's just put rows and rows of X's and hearts."

Andi continued driving with a straight face as she was used to this kind of reply from Lando. Oscar on the other hand was slightly bewildered. However, he chose not to question their strange dynamic.

"What's tonight, then?"

"Some kind of get-together. I think it was Max who had the idea, but Lando's the one who made it happen. I assume you're invited, since you're his 'best friend'," Andi pulled a face, "but I think I'll only stay for a while. I'm tired, so." she said, staring ahead.

Is that really why? Oscar thought, as he knew that the only reason Andi would avoid a gathering was because of a certain someone. But, again, trying to read her was no use, so he stayed quiet.

He debated whether or not he'd go to the so-called 'get together'; recently, he'd been going out a lot more than he used to. Suppose that's what happens when you become an F1 driver, he thought. But then he questioned himself, going back on that thought and looking down at his wrist. He looked at the dark-brown elastic hair-tie that he'd failed to remove once since Andi gave it to him. He then covered it with his hand and thought: I guess I'm going out tonight.

*

"Lando, honest to god, this is your last warning! Feet! Off! The! Dash!" Andi yelled, whacking Lando's shoulder with force, making him squirm and oblige to her orders.

"Hey!! Assault!! Oscar, you saw that right? Every time I get into this car I'm hit! I didn't even—"

He received another thwack to the shoulder. Oscar, who was forced to the back seat as soon as Lando got into the car, tried to hide his laugh but Andi caught it in the rear-view mirror.

"Fucking hell, I was going to ask if you missed me too but I think I've got my answer." Lando said, clutching his shoulder.

When the three of them arrived, Lando rushed straight in, claiming he was late and leaving Oscar and Andi to find their own way in.

He could probably tell Andi was walking as slowly as she could.

There was a reason, of course. But she was trying to ignore it until she had to face it.

Turns out she had to face it quicker than she thought.

"Charles!" Lando yelled, loud enough for everyone in the room to hear, including Andi.

And then she saw him; and it all came back. It was inevitable, it always happened that way. She'd be okay for a few days, and then everything positive that had happened prior would disappear as soon as she saw him again and she'd return to that summer. The summer of avoidance, of running away, hiding, drinking, excuses, mindless parties, mindless everything.

They hadn't spoken properly in months - the boy who was supposed to be her best friend was now spending all his time with her. And Andi couldn't be mad at him for that, she knew she couldn't. That would be unfair. But, she thought, what about me?

Do you want to see me at all?

It stung her. How Charles didn't seem to care that she wasn't around anymore. She didn't like how it made her feel; seeing him right there but not being able to get any closer.

He must've noticed I'm not there, right?

They used to laugh, talk. They used to be able to tell what the other was thinking; how they were feeling. But, that can't be true now, can it? Since, if Charles could tell what Andi was thinking when she looked at him from across the room, he'd react, surely. It was that 'surely' that made Andi's hands curl up and tingle. The 'but's the 'how come's, the 'what if's. They made her feel insane; like if she could have done something, even if it was the littlest thing, a small gesture, said a word differently, said yes instead of no to a question that had a deeper meaning she hadn't caught onto, then maybe — surely — he'd have chosen her.

Or — and the 'or's were always ten times worse than the 'but's the 'how come's and the 'what if's — it could just bottle down to simple fact that he didn't like her. That he didn't view Andi in even a fraction of the way that she viewed him.

But that 'or' didn't make sense to her. How was it possible to be so attached to a person for years of their life, to be around them constantly, to want to be around them constantly, and to not feel anything? And, if all he did feel was 'friendship'— that word Andi clung to for years until she couldn't anymore, because it was a placeholder, a fake word she used without realising it was fake— then that was ten times worse.

And, if all he did see with her was 'friendship', then, surely, he'd have felt hurt by her absence?

Did it hurt you at all when I left for the summer?

Did you wonder why I did?

Andi stared out onto the floor, tranced, so much so that her eyes began to sting. She watched them dance, laugh, smile, talk. Why not me? She watched them lean into each other and share knowing glances and secret whispers. Why?

And then he spotted her. Charles looked right at Andi, waved and then smiled. As if everything was absolutely normal between them. And then it came back to her. That day; that night.

The final race of the season had just ended, and everyone was out as they usually were, at a bar near the paddock. Andi was going to tell him. Everything. All of it; she wanted it out of her—out in the open.

But when he arrived, he arrived with her. When he saw Andi, he smiled at her, just as he was doing right now, in the exact same way. It was the smile that told her all she needed to know; that she couldn't tell him. Anything. Any of it; she couldn't get it out of her—she could never get it out of her.

She remembered the confusion; the anger. It was still with her now, just as tender as it was the day the wound opened. Everything she felt that day stayed with her. Everything. All of it clustered up together, growing larger, larger, larger. She wanted it gone. She wanted everything to change, she wanted her friend back. But not as a friend; god, not as a friend. Please, not a friend.

Then, just when everything had gotten too loud, she quietly said...

"We should go in together."

Oscar paused. What did she say? He looked beside him at the girl who was, despite her forward suggestion, looking straight ahead of her with no sign of ... well, anything.

"It's a little early to tell, don't you think?" He said, perhaps trying to make her realise what she was saying.

As she continued to stare, Oscar followed her gaze. Oh, he thought, having spotted it. It'd happened before; Andi had stared straight over at him deep in thought before either going to get a drink or leaving the venue all together. But, this time, she did something different.

"The sooner we tell the sooner it's over." She said; her tone was hard to read, like it was masking something.

She then looked up at Oscar, who looked back with a concerned expression. He wasn't sure; he knew why she was doing this, and it made sense. She wanted Charles to see the two of them together.

This is what she wants— this is the plan.

When Oscar looked down, he saw Andi's outstretched hand, seemingly waiting for someone — him — to hold it.


And so he did.

             ____________________

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