CHAPTER 11 ~ MAKING PLANS

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"Mm...."Alan stirred in his sleep. Another nightmare. It looks like he's suffering....

"Mmnn."

He gave up the sleeping pill once, he started again after he saw my mother's photo that day.

Has he been suffering all this while because of what happened to her?

For 12 years...

Alan gasp and open his eyes.

I retract my extended hand.

"Its you...."

"I'm sorry, I didnt mean to wake you up."

"Its alright," he says as he sat upright.

"I was in the office and heard a voice. It sounded like it was in pain."

"Oh yeah..."

"Are you okay. You were having a terrible dream...."

Alan didnt answer. He stared at the wall in front.

"And..." I take his pill case in my hand.

"I thought you didnt need these anymore..."

Silence....

"Did something happen?"

Silence...

"If something's bothering you, I want you to talk to me...."

"It has nothing to do with you!" He snapped.

"No....You're right," I said, hurt by his tone. "I'm sorry, I shouldnt have said anything."

Slam!

That didnt go well My heart is still pounding.

I might not have such chance again.

In my head, I know what's right but when I look at his face....

"Huh? Jeff."

"Good morning Way."

"You're early... Were you on call?"

Way looks at the whiteboard, confused.

"No, I wasnt. There's a patient I'm worried about, I came to check up on him."

Way smiles. "Is that right? That's something Alan would do too."

"Please...I'm no match for Alan."

"Its nothing to be modest about."

Slam!

"Opps..Looks like we woke up the doctor."

Way headed to the on call room and I took the opportunity to leave the office.

I sat down on bench on the courtyard and take deep breath.

I take out the poison capsule from my pocket and stares at it.

I've come this far. Am I really hesitating now?

Can I really let my plan, 12 years in the making, to go down in vain?

Just because I am overtaken by a temporary emotion?

I squeezed my hand tightly around the capsule.

I have to do it. The next chance I get.

He'll be on call again, one week from now...

As long as I didnt make him suspicious of me.

I'm going to run out of chances if I keep making mistakes. He'll put his guard up.

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