Rewrite The Stars

MISGIVINGS

Looking into her partner's eyes, Ann can see the dread in them, the fear that what she was telling, how she felt back then, could happen again. She felt this fear as her own. "I didn't want to drag you into my darkest place further, I know now that it was wrong because we made a vow that we're going to get through everything as long as we have each other." She trailed off.

"But I did not want to take that smile away, I didn't want you and Dani to see me transform into something you wouldn't really like, until you wouldn't recognise the woman that you have loved anymore and so I left. I've become this person who I never intended to be, I looked in the mirror and even I couldn't see me, do you know what I mean? I stopped being that person who you once loved, and it's why I couldn't be with you anymore," she explained.

Michelle kissed the side of her head. "So you've walked away because you were too scared to stay with me?" Anntonia nodded her head slowly.

"And maybe I wanted a different life, as selfish as it sounds."

Her sad face switched into a pained one. Brown eyes wells up in tears and the sight and the sight of it break Anntonia's heart. "You got one. I'm just glad you didn't abandon Dani, you were still there for her even if you couldn't stand to be in the same room to be with me."

Ann closed her eyes and shook her head, that one hurt. "When I came back, it never occurred to me we're going to have this-" she said, gesturing her hand between the two of them. "Where I will feel you this close again and now that we're being honest, I thought you deserved better but there you were, baby, you helped me realise what I was missing out on, you made me see that this is the life I want to live in and it makes me the happiest that we're back together. So, if you're going to ask me if I regret choosing you over the new life I've started, my answer would be no. Because I know this is where I should be. With you and Dani." she soldiered on.

Michelle wept, not because of pain but because of happiness. This time, Michelle won't be doing it alone because they now have each other for moments like these.

"I'm really sorry about what I said at the hospital. I should have known better, I told you I don't blame you for everything, and I got scared that it would trigger something from the past, and I was there, being a jerk, throwing the death of our son in your face. It was so callous of me, baby, and you have the right to be mad at me."

"You're not wrong, I walked away when things got hard between us. I left you when we should heal together. I don't want to go back into that dark place anymore, Michelle, if I ever would, I want you to be there to help me. Think you could be there for me?"

Michelle looked at her tentatively. "Honey, you don't need to ask me about that. I'm going to stay with you and we will both heal together, hm? As if I'm letting you out of my sight and out of my life again. Not going to happen." She heaved a sigh. "So I've been thinking, baby, what do you say about when we go back to New York, we can schedule a therapy with Dr. Smith, only this time you will not be alone because I'm going with you."

"Couples therapy."

"Yes, couples therapy or we could find someone while we're here in the Philippines. Your choice, baby. I'm game, whatever your decision is."

Her girlfriend smiled at her happily when Michelle's eyes gazed up to meet hers. She hooked her arm around Ann's shoulders, hugging her from the side. While Ann watched as her lover gazed down at their interlaced hands, her thumb rubbing the back of her hand.

"Can we do it in New York? Just that I'm already familiar and comfortable with Dr. Smith, baby. If it's alright with you, I want us, especially Dani, to have the best time here in Makati. But I promise that I'm alright." She felt her girlfriend press kisses on her neck, nuzzling her nose up to her temple.