Merlins Beard

The Unlikely Adventures of Bitchface and Go Fuck Yourself

"That sounded mildly sexual," Eleanor said without thinking first, a common occurrence for her. "I'm not sure what you meant by it, but consider me intrigued."

"Back off, Regulus. We're not doing anything to Eleanor." Pandora shoved her way in between the two and shoved Regulus away with two slender fingers. He didn't fight back, allowing her to move him out of the way, all the while not breaking eye contact with Eleanor once. Eleanor stubbornly returned his gaze purely out of spite, refusing to be the first to back down. His name sounded familiar, but not from anything Sirius had told her, she vaguely recalled hearing the name in divination class years prior when they covered constellations.

Regulus. The brightest star in the leo constellation, only visible in the winter and spring. The name was fitting to Regulus' cold exterior.

"So no orgy?" Eleanor asked, sliding off of the bed. "Shame." The corner of Angry Boy's mouth twitched, then he steeled his expression once more, like he had only just remembered that he was meant to be upset in the situation.

"You are not allowed to participate in any exercise for at least another day or two," Pandora scolded Eleanor, nimbly smoothing her friend's hair that had been tangled by sleep. "And yes, that includes orgies."

"Maybe the rest of the school avoids this house because you're all buzzkills," Eleanor shot back.

"Or maybe we avoid everyone else so they'll leave us the fuck alone." Angry Boy stepped forward, making his words more pronounced. Eleanor had to tip her head back to look him in the eye. "I don't give a shit if you're Pandora's soulmate. Doesn't change the fact that you shouldn't be here."

"Barty, stop being an uptight pretentious prick," Pandora was once again playing the part of a guard dog. "Leave her alone."

"Actually, I'm with him on this one." Eleanor said, making all three Slytherins pause. Regulus raised an eyebrow, the most emotion she had seen him emote.

"As much as I appreciate you taking care of me, and I really do, it was reckless to bring me here without weighing the consequences. You might be ok with it, but that doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same way. Not to mention I'm not exactly a favorite of theirs due to, erm, recent events that I took part in."

Barty eyed her carefully with a pitched expression on his face. Pandora huffed, like she didn't want to admit that Eleanor had a valid point. Eleanor pulled the blonde into a hug before she could argue the topic any further.

"Thank you, Dora." Eleanor didn't notice how Regulus' jaw feathered. "You're a great friend. Next time you're sick, I will be kidnapping you to Gryffindor tower. It's only fair."

With that, Eleanor grabbed her bag that had miraculously reappeared. She paused to nod politely at the boys who had slightly relaxed for the first time since she had woken up.

"Nice meeting you, I think." Neither of the boys said a word in return, but their eyes remained trained on Eleanor until she exited the room.

"Why must you chase off every friend I make?" Pandora whined to the boys, and collapsed dramatically into her bed. "I truly think that you would like her, if you gave her a chance."

"You have four whole friends, why would you ever want more?" Barty took a running jump at Pandora, noisily landing next to her with his feet by her head. Pandora did not flinch at the attack, but she did wait until Barty had stopped wiggling until she shifted to lay down against his legs. "Besides, Gryffindors make my skin itch."

"That is more likely a personal hygiene issue, not an actual reaction to other people." Regulus told him, sliding in next to Pandora on the bed.

"You've often said that you're allergic to people," Pandora piped up.