dear butterfly

2~Holden

TW: MENTIONING OF VOMITING
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-Elle, for god's sake, i did what you wanted me so bad to do!-
-don't act like you didn't want to do that too, mr the best i can do is write her!- she bites her chicken sandwich as we sit at out usual corner table, Iris and Weasley nowhere to be found.
It's always been just me and Elle, since when she punched a kid for stealing my lunch claiming she was stronger than me, and don't get me wrong here, she's family, we're non blood related siblings, but god forbid anything more, Weasley wouldn't hesitate to drown me.
Plus, we're so different
like, very very different, stress on the e
i could never bear someone like Estelle Celeste Allard as my girlfriend.
With her twin sister Iris is a whole different story, she's the polar opposite of Elle, although our families are deep tied together, and even forcing myself, i could never see anything romantic there, since i've been around the both of them for as long as i have memory

well, since Jen came in the picture

i dare to think, but once again, I'm abruptly taken back to reality by a hand on my shoulder
-dude, i'm telling you, we lost him!- Elle whispers yell to Weasley that somehow appeared at our table
-you didn't loose me, freak-
-oh we so did, you're like head over hills for a person you never even talked to, so it's safe to say we actually lost you-
Weasley glances at us, confused, as Iris approaches our table

thank you very much my dearest best friend

-woah, what did i miss?- Weasley speaks, stealing a chip from Elle's meal
-Golden boy head over hills?- Iris screams while taking out a chair and sitting

lord have mercy

-our future Dostoevskij here wrote a letter to a beautiful brunette he met at a library, leaving it in her book in true Holden style!- Elle squeals proudly, and i stop her with my hand, turning 50 shades of red as everyone is laughing
-you're missing something here, you threatened to cut my hand and write with it if i didn't do so!- i point at her, as she rolls her eyes
-you're so dramatic Holden, what's the worst that can happen? she ignores you? well damn welcome to the world of dating!-
-will you stop? it's not a big deal anyway!-
-it is man! when was the last time you putted yourself out there?- Weasley tries to speak while eating, and i deliberately decide to ignore all 3 of them, taking my book out the backpack
-leave him alone Wes, there's no need to push it any further, we all know he hates remembering how it ended last time-
Iris speaks up for me, and i couldn't be more grateful.
                            🦋🦋🦋
I'm pretty sure hours pass by slower when you're waiting for something to be over
it's like somebody up there knows how hard it is to wait and for some reason decides to make it even harder, slowing down times until an hour is felt like four.
I couldn't possibly take anymore school classes, i need to reach the damn library and check if the catcher in the rye had her answer folded in its pages
Still, realistically, i know i scared her off, and there's a very high chance i'm never gonna see her again.

I have to admit choosing that book was one smart move, Holden Caulfield would be proud.

As i reach Beaufort's library, i can't help but check if she's still here, and much to my surprise, she's sitting in her usual corner
she didn't run away
i can't help the smile on my face when i go open up the book i pointed out to her and find a small paper tugged in between the first pages

Hey stranger
never thought you noticed the staring, too.
I thought my mind was playing me to see things that weren't happening, but i guess i was wrong after all.
Funny how you're calling me butterfly, that's the english translation of my actual name.

What a nice, rounded, neat handwriting
She didn't sign, didn't leave any clue, except for her name meaning butterfly
i wonder what could that possibly be
however, i'm snapped back to reality as i spot her running out the door and screaming at her phone
-a...stroke? i don't understand, h...how-
she frowns, before i see tears rolling down her cheeks as she bents on her knees, head in her hands, and i'm out the door before even realizing that.
She's now sitting on the sidewalk, still hiding her face in her hands, light sobs coming from her ever so slightly;
at a loss of word, i get closer until she hears me, and turns around trying to clean up her face with her sleeves
-hey, what's wrong?- she looks at me with those beautiful eyes of hers, that are now glassed with tears, before shaking her head
-n...nothing, my abuela just had a stroke, i...i'm sorry that's not how i planned our first conversation to be- she starts sobbing again, visibly shaken, down on her knees as i reach out to her and tentatively rub her back.
After a good minute i feel her tensing again, as she covers her mouth with a hand, vomit spasms shaking her
she looks up at me, probably wondering why i'm not backing up, but i grab a hold of her dark wavy hair with my free hand
-it's okay, let it out, you're gonna be alright-i guide her as she throws up at the corner of the sidewalk, completely aware of the shit i'm saying to her;
i used to hate the you're gonna be okay thing that people threw at me when they didn't know what else to say
then why the hell am i saying this crap anyways?
i know it's not gonna be alright, because best case scenario her grandma has months of painful rehab waiting for her, but seeing her like that felt wrong in so many different ways.
After a few minutes of throwing up what basically looked like pure water, she raised her eyes at me with what looked like guilt in them
-i look awful, i'm so sorry-
-stop that, what's your name?-
-Posey, Mariposa actually-
right, butterfly name
-okay Posey, i'm Holden, let's get you cleaned up in the bathroom, yeah?- she nods, following my lead inside the library.