Endlessly

Ikol

"I thought it might help-" He stops himself. "It made me feel better."

You're still beyond pissed at him for the way he spoke to you last night, but his genuine worry for your wellbeing is making it difficult for you to be cruel to him. You nod, tucking the flower back behind your ear before climbing out of bed and getting ready for the day that lies ahead.

—--------------------------------------------

There were tears and hugs as you told Aster and Bragi goodbye; but it was something that Bragi had said that stuck with you during your travels to visit Hnoss.

"I can't wait to meet her."

The next time you are home again will most likely be after you've given birth. Of course you'd be returning to Vanaheim, it's your home- but, being the prince's child, would the giants feel as though they had some sort of claim to your daughter? Would Odin and Frigga feel that she belonged on Asgard with them? All of the questions and worries swirling in your head was making you nauseous.

The carriage rolls to a stop, fortunately pulling you from your thoughts. The morning sun temporarily blinds you as you step out, the warmth of it tickling your nose.

I wonder how long it will be before I see the sun again. Your heart sinks a little as you enter Hnoss and Kvasir's home.

"Sister!" Hnoss nearly drops her teacup as you step into view, running up to you and wrapping you in the tightest hug.

She's strong again. She's okay. Thank the norns.

"And you." She wraps Loki in just as tight of a hug, pinning his arms at his sides and leaving him looking comically bewildered.

She releases him, grinning. "Ikol should be up from his nap in about twenty minutes, can I get you both something to drink while we wait?"

"You've picked a name!" You beam.

"It's been a month, Gersemi. Did you think I'd have a nameless child for this long?" She teases.

"The norns only know how terrible you are with decisions." You tease her back. "Especially big ones." You turn to Loki, who's gone entirely pale.

"Ikol." He stammers, flustered in a way you've never seen before. "That's-"

"Yes. It is. Now, don't let it go to your head." Hnoss winks at your deadlocked prince.

You turn your nephew's name around in your head, realizing what your sister has done.

"But- Why?" Loki is still struggling to find words.

"If you had not come into our lives, Loki- my son would not be here today."

Your eyes burn at her words, and when you turn to Loki, he's wearing an expression you've never seen before.

"I'm honored-" His voice breaks. "Excuse me." Without another word, he bolts back out of the front door.

"Not too comfortable with emotions, that one." Your sister laughs.

You swat her arm. "I'm going to go check on him."

She nods and makes her way back to the kitchen as you head outside.

Loki had found his way to a wooden bench in the garden, only about forty feet from the front of the house. It's impossible to get a read on his expression, as his elbows are resting on his knees, supporting his face cradled in his hands.

You take a seat next to him, placing a gentle hand on his back. He doesn't seem to notice your presence.

"Hey."

After a long silence, he speaks without lifting his head from his hands.

"I don't deserve it, Gersemi. Any of it; not you, or our daughter, and this... gods, I've manipulated my way into your life, into your family's lives." He lets out a shaky breath. "I have always destroyed everything that I've loved, and to curse an innocent child with-"

"First of all," You cut him off, "you couldn't manipulate my sister if you tried." You laugh.

"The way I spoke to you last night-" He finally looks up from his hands. Your eyes and throat burn as you take in the evident signs that he's been crying.

"I'm still angry about the way you talked to me last night." You confess. "But I forgive you." You wipe a new tear from his cheek; your heart feels as though it may crack. "I know you well enough to understand that it came from a place of love. Of fear."

"Someday you'll stop forgiving me. Someday... I will push you away forever." The strain in his voice makes it sound as though he's being torn in two from inside out.

"Do you want to push me away forever?"

"Gods- of course not." He finally meets your eyes, confusion and sorrow and fear reflecting back at you through his.

"Then you won't." You kiss his cheek and wrap your fingers through his. "Let's go see our nephew."

—--------------------------------------------

Ikol is up from his nap when you and Loki return and is cooing happily in his mother's arms.

"There are some very special people here to say hello to you, my sweet boy." Your sister coos back at him.

To your complete and utter shock, Loki steps to your sister's side, and holds out his arms. "May I?"

She grins, gently placing that precious little bundle in his arms.

Loki cradles him like he's done it a hundred times before, immediately finding a soothing rhythm, swaying back and forth with him like... well, like a natural.

"Norns. That's a sight that'll give you baby fever." Hnoss jabs a playful finger into your ribs. "You should see Kvasir with him, he goes stiff as a board." She snorts.

You giggle along with her- but can't take your eyes off of your raven-haired prince, bouncing and swinging with your nephew in his arms, grinning at him like he's a miracle.

I suppose he is a miracle.

—-----------------------------------------------

Over the course of the next hour, you'd explained everything to your sister. That you needed to be on Jotunheim for your and the baby's safety, that Loki was on good terms with the giants now, thanks to his returning of the Casket, and that you'd be back to see her the very moment it was possible.

There were tears, hugs and then more tears, but you and Loki at last said your final goodbyes to her and Ikol, before walking out the door with an aching heart and watery eyes.

It was time to return to the land of the giants, with no set date for your return.