heartache || alice in borderland

chapter four

I leave the game arena in pain and feeling immense guilt. They all died. All... of them? Arisu, Chota, Karube, and... Shibuki! The girl I was supposed to be allies with! Who am I gonna?-

"Ah! Who..." I stumble back, hitting the rough texture of the road.

"Sorry! Oh, you're the girl from the tag game! A.. Aya, right?" The short haired woman asks.

"Usagi! I didn't think I'd meet you again." I smile.

"Well, this isn't the first time we've bumped into each other. Haha, remember?" Usagi smiles, shifting her position to reach out to me.

I take her hand and steady myself. "Yeah..."

She looks me up and down, now noticing the blood on my arm, and the bruising from Karube's violence.

"O-oh... what happened? F-forget it, come with me. I'll take care of you." She says, quickly putting her left arm around my waist and guiding me.

"Thank you very much..." I say, wincing at the pain in my body.

-

Back at her apartment, she prepares food. Probably with the rabbit I saw she had in her hand earlier. I wait lying down on a mat, arm wrapped in soft cloth she found.

A new ally?

No... I don't deserve one. Not after what I did. Not after I killed them. Those innocent people, just trying to survive. Those friends... and that girl.

"Hey?" Usagi motions freshly cooked food at me.

I break into tears, pushing her away.

"I don't deserve you. O-or this, I don't deserve to eat." I sob.

She's taken back a moment, but just smiles softly. "I see. A heart game?"

I nod, wiping my tears. She gives me an understanding smile, and places the bowl next to my mat.

"When you're ready." She states. As she begins to walk away, she turns back. "You... you did what you had to. We're all forced to play. Even those taggers, were forced. Don't blame yourself."

Her words echo in my mind as she leaves the room. The dried tears on my cheeks sting as I smile. She's right. It wasn't my fault. At least inherently.

I weakly reach for the bowl and eat the rice. It was warm and felt fresh. A different feeling than the canned foods I chugged with my old group a few days ago.

-

Usagi notices my empty bowl and smiles tenderly.

"I knew you were strong." A stretch, and then she's off for a jog.

I lift my body half way, leaving my knees on the mat. "Wait! Can I join?"

She turns her head slightly, nodding in approval.

-

By the time we get back, we know what we have to do. Another game.

"Are you sure? I mean... you still have days on your visa, don't you?" She asks me.

"I just wanna get as much games done as possible. I'm ready." In honesty, my body was aching to move. To do something. I need an escape from my mind.