Whispers of the South Wind

Chapter 10

All in all, they were like his second family, as weird as people would probably find that, and he wasn't totally sure what he would do if something ever happened to them.

He let out another sigh as he eyed the red missed message notification bubble glaring at him. So far, he had ten missed messages, all from Anthony in the last week. He had been trying to get a hold of him since their evening at the bar, probably worried about his quick exit that night after he learned about Luke. He had been so messed up, so ready to relapse, that he'd decided to call it a night and rush home to attend a virtual meeting.

He'd quickly emptied his wallet, paying both their tabs and giving the rest to Larry to replace the mirror in the bathroom before dashing out without even really saying goodbye.

He was being rude, he knew it. Anthony had done nothing but offer him friendship and kindness, but how was he supposed to face them knowing that he could have possibly prevented their friend from dying? He would have to face them eventually, but he needed some time to process things, to think about the right way to explain who he really was before they figured it out on their own or even worse, them finding out from Ash.

So, opting to ignore his messages for now, he quickly hit his international texting app instead and sent a message to see if Tomi was busy. He still needed to find someone to talk to in America, but Tomi was the best he had for now. It was only midafternoon there, so with any luck, she was free and could talk things through with him.

Keigo: Hey, are you busy right now? Got time to talk?

Tomi: Nah, I am just getting ready to leave work for the day. It's early there though, isn't it? Something going on?

Keigo: Can I call?

Her name lit up his screen in an instant, making him smile. The next time he managed to see her in person, he owed her something huge because she never failed him when he needed her.

"What's going on with you now?" she asked, the amusement in her voice obvious as she spoke to him. "Has to be something big for you to be awake at three in the morning."

"Well, I met this girl," he started, and he could hear Tomi let out a small squeal on the other end of the phone. What the hell?

"Oh Keigo! That is so amazing. There is nobody in the world who deserves it more than you."

"It's not that simple," he said sadly, frowning as he quickly recounted everything that had happened in the last few weeks. Everything just poured out like lava, from seeing her that night at the bar to everything that happened at the bonfire. He told her about Ash and his threat before explaining everything he had learned at the bar with Anthony, and when he finally got to Luke, he started to tear up without meaning to.

"Oh god Tomi, she's so fucking beautiful, but how the hell could I ever date her? Her husband died in the war. The war that we failed to prevent. What Ash said was tru-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" Tomi said quickly, cutting him off. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you that the war was not your fault. The responsibilities for the things that happened and the people who died are not on your shoulders Keigo. It was a shitty situation, a tragedy, but you did great things during it. You nearly died twice for God's sake! I really think you need to find someone and work through those issues because carrying this around is not productive to your mental health or your sobriety."

"Look," she continued, taking a deep breath before letting out a sad sigh. "I'm not a therapist, so I'm not sure if what I tell you will help, but I think you should just try and relax a bit. So one asshole made a big deal about you being Hawks and knows about your addiction, but why do you care? You improved yourself, you got clean, those are things to be proud of. You deserve the chance to be happy, and I think you should give it a shot. After all, the only person whose opinion matters is your own, and if you tell her the truth and she can't accept you for who you are now, then she doesn't deserve you. It would be her loss because you're an amazing person."