Invisible Strings

I'm afraid to lose you. - ac.

I am so afraid to lose you, so much, I am afraid to communicate my feelings.

I am so afraid to lose you, so much, I am afraid to set boundaries.

I am so afraid to lose you, so much, I am afraid to show how I feel without being angry with myself afterwards.

I am so afraid to lose you, so much, because I know me, and I lose every precious thing that I see.

I am so afraid to lose you, and it's not because of trust. I trust you'll stay because you believe I can change, I'm afraid to lose you because I'm afraid what life will be after you, and the gut wrenching life altering pain.

I'm afraid to be happy, whenever I am something goes badly.

I can't even stand to dance or sing without being afraid something will happen to me, I'm so afraid it makes me mad.

Because I know you, and you love to dance. So I am learning to dance alone and on my own, with my fingers crossed that nothing bad will come.

I'm afraid to lose you, because I fuck up all the time. I get so angry with myself genuinely because, I'm afraid you're so done and fed up, you no longer want to be mine.

I'm afraid to lose you, and I'm afraid to say it out loud, afraid to scare you off if I move an inch, or make a single sound.

Im afraid to lose you. We've established that by now. But how can you be afraid to lose when a home is a foundation that you build, a home not a house. A person with a beating heart thats trying just as hard as you. I believe in some ways.. you're afraid to lose me too.

I'm afraid to lose you, because every bridge I walk on is left in smoke and smoldering as I pass.

I'm afraid to lose you because, my heart is pretty broken and fragile, I'm sure you've already cut yourself by accident on my shards of glass.

I'm afraid to lose you, because mom and dad had it pretty bad. Screaming and hollering, throwing picture frames, watch where you walk in my memories, theres blood stains from walking barefoot on the tile floor, broken glass.

From the picture frame, mine or my mom's heart, I'll probably never know.

But as I watch you walk into my life I picture you as a old soul.
We've known each other, in every lifetime. Never changing persons, your lifeline was always connected to mine. Me stealing your heart and well, you stealing mine.

I'm afraid to lose you. Please don't take offense to that. I tend to fear losing you every night before I go to bed.

People leave, like thieves in the night. I'm scared to scare you off, and you'll be gone before the night sky turns bright.

I'm afraid to lose you.
It feels good to get that off of my chest. But no better than the suspense, as I have to wait until the day we kiss and say I do, or the day the tiny glass shards already broken shatter again in two.