Invisible Strings

I'm Afraid

Is it horrible for me to be afraid?
To be afraid that how you act now is a warning sign
To be afraid that you are slowly falling out of love with me
To be afraid that your feelings toward me have changed forever, and I'm losing my grip on you like sand slipping through my fingers. Or even more like water.

Is it bad that I'm afraid?
I'm afraid you don't want me anymore
I'm afraid you don't feel attracted towards me any longer
I'm afraid you see me for how I see myself now, you see me as a monster that I always knew that I was. I'm afraid that the deepest most scariest thoughts of you that I tucked all the way in the back of my head are right, you're too good for me. You don't want me anymore. You have finally opened your eyes to this, so you're slowly leaving, and I have to watch you do it.
I have to allow it to happen, because you are your own person and I could never force you to stay where you weren't happy anymore.

But I know it's terrible for me to say this, I know that I shouldn't.
But I don't want you happy without me. I want to be the one who brings that smile to your face and hears the sweet honey suckle laughter from your lungs.
I want to be the one that lays next to your every night and wakes up to your every morning.
I want our Calista and Perseus, hell, even for you, a Hermoine.
I want you.

I want you to be in my arms and holding my heart so tightly it hurts me.
I want you to kiss my lips after a long hard day even when they burn me.
I want you, even when everyone else deserts me.
I want you.

And at this point, all I can ask is that you want me too.

It doesn't have to be as passionate as mine.
It doesn't have to be as blood curdling.
It just has'd to be enough that you fight along side me.
It just has'd to be enough that at the end of the day, out of everyone in your life that you could ask to hold you, you ask me.

You don't have to feel love as passionately as I do, not everyone does.
I'm not worth that passionate love.
You just have to tell me you love me, even if its barely audible. In the tiniest whisper out to the world.
Because out of every man and woman on this earth, I only wish that you choose me to be your girl.

The world can hurt me until I'm numb.
Punch me until I'm black and blue.
The world can burn me until all I am is ash and bones.
But it would all be worth it, because I have you.