Love Me, Mikayla

XII

MIKAYLA

. . .

I cried a lot.

This burden on my chest was maybe going to remain forever and finally, I was leaving my father. How badly I wanted to stay with him forever but things weren't in my hands.

They say all that happens is the will of God and as much as I want to run away from Him, I can't deny the fact He sits enthroned over cherubs and angels and He holds authority over everything.

In everything, I also come.

He is the controller of all the spirits and the hearts of humans lie wide open before his eyes.

He wants for me something that I despise. Our thoughts do not match and so desperately I want to be left alone from Him and want Him to stop controlling my life. However, I can't forget the fact that my parents and my relatives, especially my father, have me covered in prayer.

Sometimes I feel like I was devoted to Him the moment I was born and the truth sits heavily upon my chest. I just want to hide somewhere.

As soon as the door is closed and he enters the car, I can't help but clench my jaw in utter fury that washes over me.

He was the reason I was here.

Maybe he's the happiest person today on the face of the earth.

I hate him.

Only if he hadn't entered my life; only if he hadn't walked into my house with that innocent face and high morals swirling around his forefinger; and only if he hadn't impressed my parents with his stupid personality, I wouldn't be sitting here beside him, dressed in a white gown as his bride as well as wife.

I shed tears for my life.

Just one thing I needed my parents to understand was that among crores of men in the world, I could've wanted anyone but him.

Oh, but they only found him.

Tears roll down my eyes, tracing my cheeks. Their feeling against my skin is light but the pain of separation is too heavy to bear.

Through the window, I look at my Dad. He is among them, behind the crowd. He stands silently, eyes wet yet lips curled up in a small and satisfied smile. I stare at him blankly, ignoring everyone who is bidding me goodbye.

Ayaz comes to him and he takes him in his arms. The boy's face is flushed with bright red and his eyes are filled with tears. He wanted to stop me. The reason he gave me was; who would draw my sketches? And he was bribing me to stop me as he said; you can have all my chocolates just don't leave me. Today, I even became his favorite.

What a beautiful irony.

In my Dad's arms, he looks at me with a cute pout. He raises his hand and gestures to me like the baby he is. He calls me with his hand but Dad makes him wave his hand at me.

It makes me smile through the tears. I wave my hand back and he shakes his head. He turns to my Dad and hugs him tight, hiding his face in his neck.

What a crybaby. He was desperate to send me away, wasn't he? Just look at him now.

Well, I'm no less pathetic for the moment.

As the car starts moving ahead, I raise my arm to wipe away my tears. My gaze lowers itself and there, I find his hand which holds a handkerchief.

I take it, patting it lightly against my damp cheeks. I keep it to myself. He wouldn't even need it because he isn't the one who's crying here.

Silence prevails and none of us say anything to each other. The reality is, I want to unleash my anger upon him very badly but I'm not in the mood right now. I'm already in tears. First, I need to take care of it and eat something.