It was another lovely day on Splash Mountain.
All the critters were at play and having the times of their lives.
Well, all of them except Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox who were soaking wet after a chaotic log ride with Jeremy Clyde and Patty Duke.
You see, Patty had recently been presented with a new puppy whom she named Ross
Since then, she'd been taking him everywhere, including on the river.
"Who had fun on the river today?" she cooed. "Who smells like a wet dog? You do! Yes you do!"
Then she sniffed her wet dress. "And so do I."
"Hee's an idea. Next time we go fo' a log ride, we don't bring long sum'n dat has sha'p teef an' bitin' ishoos" said Brer Rabbit.
"Oh, it wasn't Ross's fault. It was his first time on the river, so he got a little overexcited" said Patty petting Ross's head.
"Well, next time he gets 'overexcited', can it not be when we're near the big plunge?" said Jeremy.
"Yeah" Brer Fox agreed. "I nevah thot ma firs' kiss'd be wit de Briar Patch!"
"Oh pleez" Brer Rabbit laughed. "I seen ya makin' out witcho Lesley Gore posta."
Meanwhile, Chad Stuart was strolling through the Laughing Place when he saw Brer Bear looking kinda sad.
He was among a cave wall surrounded by record plaques, all won by Burt Ward.
"Brer Bear, are you alright?" said Chad with concern.
"No. Brer Burt has set so menny reco'ds, he ak'shly has de Splash reco'd fo de most reco'ds" said Brer Bear. "All I've gotten in diss mount'n is tricked."
"Please. You know Brer Rabbit's tricks are merely childish pranks" said Chad. "And you're not alone. There are lots of critters here who haven't broke a record."
"Nuh-uh. Ev'rybody's got a plaque. Even you. Look. Longes' marr'ge in de mount'n" said Brer Bear.
"Who keeps putting that back up there?" Chad grunted. "Jill and I didn't get married in this mountain.
Brer Bear sat on a ledge by the river. "It jus' stinks bein' de only one in de mount'n who ain't good at anything."
"Oh come now, Brer Bear. You just haven't found your thing yet" said Chad.
"I thot gravy breath was ma thing" said Brer Bear.
Now Chad was blunt. "That's not a thing. It's a condition."
