He looks taken aback by my question, head tilting down a bit.
"I'm sorry we slept together, Louis. But it's not on me. It was both of us." I say, trying to understand what his expression means.
"I just... the the thought of... the thought of me being just another hookup. It's... I don't - " He looks around, like he is searching for the words on the walls around us.
"Louis -"
"No, you probably told all your football friends all about how you 'fucked a nerd' because that's all I am to the bunch of you."
"I didn't-"
"Oh, please! I heard your friend in the cafeteria."
"Yeah, I told Niall, but I didn't tell anyone else."
"Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut!?" He hisses at me.
"Because I needed to tell someone! I needed to tell someone that I couldn't get you out of my head because you were different, you are different." He only stares at me. "I can't... Louis, you're beautiful. And you're all I can think about, since..." I groan, rubbing my hands over my face.
"Don't lie." He states, tears welling up in his eyes.
"I'm not lying." I say, taking a small step closer to him.
"Yes, you are! You just want to get your way with me again. It's not going to work." He starts tearing up now.
"I'm not lying, Louis. And I don't want to have sex with you again." He gasps at my words. Maybe I could have said that better. "Not... now, at least. I just... could you give me a chance to get to know you? I want to get to know you." I plead. He sniffles, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie. He shakes his head.
"I know what game you're playing at, Harry, and it's not going to work."
"I'm not playing any games, Louis. Please just listen!" I feel like im begging at this point. I just want him to know that im not lying to him. "I've been thinking of you since Saturday morning when you left that room. I thought about your eyes, your voice. That cute pudge around your stomach. Your soft hair and, and your lips. And fuck, your thighs, your collar bones... I just- I want to know more, about you. Who you are. Not just what you look like." He shakes his head. "I think I actually have a crush on you, as primary school as that sounds, it is true."
"Fuck you're stupid." Louis wipes the snot off his upper lip. "I wish I didn't go to that stupid party and I wish I never had stupid sex with you." He sniffles. "Sorry, you're not stupid."
"Can I give you a hug?" He looks unsure, but nods anyway. I embrace him in a hug, holding him tightly to my body. "I really do want to get to know you, Louis. You're really different. It just felt right, being with you in that way. And it's like my soul is screaming at me to just be close to you."
"You're not lying?" He croakes out, pulling his head back to look me in the eyes. "Shit, there's snot on your jersey." He mumbles, rubbing over it with thr sleeve of his hoodie, but he just rubs it into the fabric. Not that I mind anyway.
"No, I'm not lying. I want to take you out on a date. And I want to get to know you. Like really get to know you. I want to hold your hand, and kiss your lips, and other pg 13 things, you know, but that's for another time." He gives a muffled laugh. "Is that ok with you?" He nods into my hoodie.
"Yeah, that's ok" He sighs. "I'm sorry for how I acted. I just... I've been bloody in love with you since eighth grade, and I don't know why I just... when we had sex I thought for sure I was just another one of your... whatever it is you call it."
can't stop thinking of you
Start from the beginning
