Something New | Taraji x Fantasia

Emergency

🛑 Trigger Warning: excessive drinking, throwup, suicidal ideation,parent- child trauma 🛑

The tempo of a song playing out on the speakers wakes me up. I pop my head up, seeing that it's dark outside. I look down at Fantasia, who is still asleep. I take my hand, reaching back to move her arm, and I successfully loosen her arm just enough for me to move around. I try to remove myself from her, but quickly notice the moisture our bodies produce, which makes this a sticky escape.

My upper body attempts to move first, but she tightens her grip on my waist to bring me back down.

I have to use the bathroom, babe.

She lets me go, and I hurry to the bathroom. I find the speaker in the bathroom, and I lower the volume. I thought about my final words before I fell asleep. I've never been fortunate enough to experience marital bliss; engagements were many, but I never made it to the altar. Being by Fantasia's side through her divorce has shown me the side of marriage that no one ever wants to experience: hurt, regret, and resentment taking precedence over love.

I find myself sitting on the toilet, thinking through all of these thoughts, looking at Fantasia sleeping on the bed. I know that we love each other, but I don't know if I can be more. I meant what I said about marrying her with no regrets, regardless of her being a woman. I'm just unsure if the universe would allow it to happen for me.

Are you coming back to bed? She questions me from the bedroom, looking at me.

I did not realize how long I'd been in my thoughts on the toilet.

I think I'm going to take a shower before I lay back down. I say this as I wipe myself and make my way to the shower. I turn on the shower, waiting for the right temperature. I step into the warm shower, and the heat that hits my skin feels so relaxing. I allow the water to run down my back and trickle down my crack. The water falling down my chest made its way to my pussy, and the warmth felt like relief.

I open my eyes to see Fantasia placing some clothes on the sink before making her way to the shower. My eyes follow her trail. I turn my back in the direction of the water.

After she steps in the shower, I reach my arms around her neck, bringing our bodies close. We turn to the side, allowing the water to fall on both of us. My thoughts quiet down when she touches me, her arms holding my waist.

I'm scared. I blurted out, not moving. What are you scared about, mama? The sound of her voice is soothing and warm. I snuggle closer to her scent on her neck. I'm scared that love won't be enough for us.

She moves her hands to my waist, and I know she wants to look into my eyes. I can't do that right now, so I hold her. Her chest rises and falls before she responds.

I hear you, baby. What's on your mind? I can't escape not looking into her eyes this time; her movements are too swift, and her hand lifts my chin, forcing me to look into her eyes.

I let out a grunt, knowing this conversation would happen whether I wanted it to or not.

I was thinking about our conversation before we fell asleep and my being here with you through your divorce. I know marriage is no easy feat. I've never been fortunate enough to experience it. I take a break, release a sigh, and then continue. It makes me wonder if love would be enough for us. The words felt so right, so I know I meant what I said when I said, If I could, I would marry you. I just don't think I'll ever get to that point; the universe won't allow it.

I turn my body to face the shower head, rinsing the heat from my cheeks and wiping my hot tears. I see the rag in Fantasia's hand in my peripheral vision; she runs it under the water. Moments later, I feel the washcloth across my back and smell the aroma of warm cashmere.