Marauders - Always - Part One

CLXVII: Freddie Pineapple

"Flintstone," James spoke up instantly.

"He doesn't go by Freddie," Sirius retorted.

"Might've done when he was a lad," James shrugged. "You know - before he met Wilma and started working at the Quarry and all. I'll bet him and Barney got into a good deal of trouble back in the day."

"I think it's a brilliant name," Peter said.

"I think it's dumb, but whatever you want," Remus said, shrugging.

Mean Moony phase. Sirius flared up. "Yeah? You think it's so dumb then you name me!"

Remus stared at Sirius.

"Seriously! What would you call me if you were to name me?"

Tell me you'd give me your name if I wanted it, Sirius thought. But he knew Remus wouldn't.

Remus would've worded it that at the moment he couldn't.

Remus shrugged and turned back to his homework.

James said, "May I have a go at naming you? I've got a good one."

"What is it?" Sirius asked, turning to James.

James sat up, grinning, eyes sparkling. "Ima Dunghead."

Remus's head lifted up in dismay but he didn't say anything, just glared at James and raised an eyebrow at the back of Sirius's head as he replied dumbly - "But Ima's a girl's name," Sirius protested.

James was snickering.

"It at least ought to be a boy's name what you give me."

"Did you not –? Sirius, did you notice the last name –?" Remus stammered.

Sirius turned 'round, "What? Dunghead?"

James's snickers deepened.

"Conversation starter, that is," Sirius said, grinning.

Remus shook his head and turned away again.

"Ida Dunghead?"

"Ida is feminine also," Remus spoke up without looking away from his paper this time.

"Why do the ladies have all the fun names?" James murmured.

"Freddie Pineapple is a fun name," Sirius input.

"It isn't a name at all," Remus said, "It's a fruit!" Remus rolled his eyes as his pen scrawled across the parchment, ink rubbing against his hand, dirtying his wrist.

"Well maybe I'm a fruit, too!" Sirius said.

"Are you ever," James snickered.

"Takes one to know one, darling," Sirius answered slyly.

"How did fruit even come to mean gay anyway?" Peter asked curiously.

James hummed, "Hmm - good question, Wormtail." He was rolling to open the drawer of the nightstand between his and Peter's bed and pulling out the gold snitch he kept there. "Remcyclopedia?"

"You always assume I know everything," Remus said.

"Because you usually do know everything," James replied.

Remus was quiet a moment.

"C'mon, out with it," Sirius grinned at the back of Remus's head. "We all know you know the answer."