UNFORGIVENESS

𝖥𝖠𝖬𝖨𝖫𝖸 𝖳𝖨𝖤𝖲

Tara's response was filled with disappointment, "He doesn't listen to anything I say, Jax. I've been living here for over a year, and he acts like I don't even exist." Frustration welled up within me, and I blurted out without thinking, "Then stop trying to be his mom!" The shock on Tara's face immediately made me regret my words. Tara stormed past me and picked her bag and car keys up from the counter before walking out the front door, slamming it so hard the whole house shook. 

As I poured myself a cup of coffee and settled down at the table, my mind wandered to the complex situation involving Abel and Tara's relationship. It was a dilemma I had been grappling with for some time - the struggle of trying to navigate the dynamics between my son and my girlfriend without causing any rifts.

Reflecting on the past, I couldn't help but question whether my decision to commit to Tara was the right one for Abel. For eight years prior to meeting Tara, I had chosen a lifestyle of casual encounters and fleeting relationships with girls from Dosa or croweaters, never feeling the need to have a constant presence in my life.

Everything changed two years ago when her father passing away brought Tara back into my life at St. Thomas Hospital, where she happened to be Abel's new doctor. The attraction from our youth reignited, and Tara's persistent pursuit eventually led to her moving in with us and pushing for an engagement.

In the midst of Tara's ambitious nature and determination, I failed to consider the impact it would have on Abel. The sudden shift from our comfortable life as a duo to a trio was a significant adjustment, one that I had not fully prepared for. Abel, my once carefree and happy-go-lucky son, had taken a turn for the worse. He began to rebel, skipping school and talking back to both me and my mother. Whenever Tara tried to intervene, he would simply ignore her, storm out of the house, and disappear for hours on end. Eventually, he would turn up at my mother's house, exhausted and hungry, seeking refuge in my childhood bedroom until he had calmed down.

Fast forward two years, and despite Tara becoming a permanent fixture in our family, Abel still chooses to act as if she doesn't exist. He completely disregards her presence in the house, making it clear that he is not comfortable with her being a part of our lives. I blame myself for not consulting him before allowing Tara to become a part of our family. At the age of twelve, I thought Abel needed a maternal figure in his life, but it seems I was mistaken. Now, I find myself unable to confront him about his behavior, knowing that I am the one who made him feel uncomfortable in his own home. I must find a way to address this situation and mend the relationship between Abel and Tara.

 I take a sip of my coffee, feeling the warmth spread through me as Abel walks into the kitchen, ready for school in his casual jeans and T-shirt. Noticing his worn-out Converse sneakers, I mentally remind myself to take him shoe shopping after his classes.  "Morning, Pop," he greets me, reaching for the orange juice in the fridge and taking a swig straight from the carton. I almost scold him for not using a glass but hold back, knowing I'm guilty of the same habit. 

"Morning, son," I reply, observing Abel as he puts the juice back and grabs his backpack. I'll see you later Pop." Before he can walk past me, I reach out and gently hold his wrist, halting his movement. "Hold up, little man," I say, "Are you planning to eat something before you go?" I inquire, concerned about his lack of breakfast. Abel brushes off the suggestion, stating that he will simply grab a sandwich from Betsey's on his way to school. "A decent breakfast would be better, Abel," I suggest, hoping he will reconsider.

In a playful manner, Abel points out the irony of my advice, highlighting the fact that I rely on coffee as my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I can't help but smile at his astute observation. Lately, I haven't been taking care of myself properly, neglecting to eat regular meals, and it's beginning to show in my appearance. My face looks tired, and my jeans are even baggier than usual. "You've got me there," I admit, acknowledging the truth in his words.

 Abel looks at me with a mixture of worry and concern, his blue eyes reflecting his genuine care for my well-being. Sensing his unease, I suppress the fear that he may have somehow learned about his mother's impending release. "Everything is okay, Dad?" he asks, his voice filled with genuine concern. Swallowing my own anxieties, I assure him that everything is fine, attributing any troubles to the responsibilities that come with being part of a motorcycle club. "Yeah, everything's good, just club stuff, son," I respond, trying to downplay My worry. 

"Come to the clubhouse after school, you need new sneakers," I tell him.

"Okay, love ya pop." 

As he rushes out the door, I can't help but feel a sense of contentment. It's been quite some time since Abel and I had a chance to have a conversation, even if it was just small talk. I didn't bring up the topic of easing up on Tara, but the brief interaction with my son brought me joy. However, I knew that my peaceful moment would soon come to an end once I arrived at the clubhouse.

I anticipated having discussions with Bobby and Koa about the parole board's notification regarding Tiki's release. The thought of Tiki potentially showing up in Charming was unsettling, especially considering the court's no-contact order. Despite the legal restrictions, I knew that Tiki Munson would not be able to resist checking up on her son.  The situation became even more complicated when I realized that, despite my inner knowledge that I still loved her deeply, there was also a deep-seated hatred within me. The thought of seeing her after all these years filled me with uncertainty about how I would react. Forgiving her for what she had done would not be possible. I had to protect my family at all costs even if that meant keeping my son away from his Mother.

Unedited.

Credit to thecutestgrotto. on Tumblr for SOA dividers. Please go check her out.