All I Am

Chapter 43

Pitka

It took four days for Ari’s fury to fade after the events in Mythnese. And even when it faded, it was still very much present. Ari had grown up watching people treat women like commodities. He remembered seeing his mother belittled, cursed at, pushed around, and being powerless to stop it.

Seeing someone trying to treat Valery even worse infuriated him beyond words.

It also made him realize how much he cared about her.

He couldn’t get her expression out of his mind when she told him how hurt she had been. Nor could he forget the feeling of her body pressed against his as he held her the night before they left.

Ari had already known her erratic behavior and bitterness were a mask for something. In his experience, it always was. But he had no idea the extent of the pain he would reveal when her mask was finally removed: a woman desperate for her family’s approval and devastated by their rejection.

The arrogance, stubbornness, rudeness, was all a front to stop people from seeing just how much she was hurting. And the obsession with training Ari assumed was to prove that she still had value despite being disowned.

But Valery had value. And it didn’t come from her pedigree or her abilities. She had intrinsic value as a person-value that didn’t have to be proven or achieved. But far beyond that, she had value because of her commitment to her people and desire to make the world better for them.

Ari just wished she could see that.

The group had arrived back in Pitka a few days ago, but Ari had yet to talk to Valery. She was still unconscious the last he had checked. And he usually checked every other hour.

While he waited, he filled in the Pitkan royals on the outcome of their mission. Ari was worried about the consequences of the message he had passed along to the Mythnesenian king, but they assured him that he had done the right thing. After all, who would they be if they accepted as allies people who bought and sold marked women when part of their fight was for those same women’s freedom?

Ari agreed, but he was still concerned. Mythnese had the third largest army of all the kingdoms, and the risk of having them join Irado was nothing to dismiss.

He had decided to write a letter to King Cassius to explain what had happened on their trip before his unit journeyed home. Though Ari would rather have explained in person, he was worried about news arriving in Peria before he did. He wanted the king to hear the outcome of their expedition from him, not the rumor mill.

But drafting a letter that conveyed what had happened proved to be difficult, so he had asked Navarre and Ilara to assist.

“Don’t use the word ‘clearly’-he hates that,” Ilara said as Ari read what he had come up with so far.

“Why?”

“He says if it’s clear, it should speak for itself,” Ilara replied with a shrug.

The door to the study swung open violently, and a woman in a nightgown with a tangled mess of red hair stormed inside.

Ari rose to his feet immediately, pleasantly surprised to see her.

“Valery,” he remarked. “You’re up.”

But there was nothing pleasant in Valery’s expression. She glared at him.

“Did you essentially tell my father to go fuck himself?”

Ari paused for a moment. “Your highnesses, why don’t we continue this discussion tomorrow evening?”

“Of course,” Navarre answered graciously. Ilara looked as though she wanted to stay, but Navarre pulled her out the door.