A Ghost of Snow

24. You Owe Me Nothing

Current Ages of characters:

Wei Wuxian - 23 years
Lan Wangji - 28 years
Lan Xichen - 30 years
Baixue - 19 years
Wen Qing- 28 years
Wen Ning- 24 years
Jaing Cheng - 26 years
Jaing Yanli - 29 years
Jin Zixuan- 30 years

Lan Qiren - Old🤭
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Lan Wangji stood still and silent in his own corner, still contemplating his life choices, Wei Ying was an adult now, he didn't think of anything improper while his friend's stay in Cloud Recesses back then, it was only much later, during the war,that he had realised his feelings for him, did that mean, his behaviour couldn't be considered immoral. But that didn't change the fact that he had started to like him as more than a friend when the younger was only thirteen. Lan Wangji was beyond confused.

Besides, how did the Jaing Sect even manage to send a thirteen year old to Gusu, how had no one in his own sect paid attention to this detail? No wonder Wei Ying struggled to follow the rules, he was only a child. Most adults couldn't even keep up with all the three thousand rules in Cloud Recesses, let alone a child. However, he couldn't help but be impressed by the intellect his friend held even back then, he was clearly the sharpest student in that batch, among people who were all significantly older than him.

It was only when his Uncle spoke in a hardened voice that he came out of his reverie, "You don't know? You don't know that?", Lan Qiren wanted to scream, this Wei Wuxian was getting on his nerves more and more, every passing day. "What did you come shouting for then? Is it fun to break the rules?"

"Eh...That! I was hoping you would know more about it than me.", Wei Wuxian said with a sheepish grin. Lan Qiren's expression softened a bit, but his voice still lacked that emotion when he replied, "I will have to disappoint you then, my knowledge in this field is limited."

"Oh.", Wei Wuxian sighed, "I guess, I'll have to figure it out on my own then." It wasn't the first time that he had to depend on himself but he really hoped he could get it over with sooner than later. An elder being of no help also wasn't new for him, but he knew that Lan Qiren was different from the other elders he knew, he would never deliberately refuse to help, if he could. If his teacher said that he didn't know how to help, it was probably the truth.

Wei Wuxian's despondent tone did not go unnoticed by the other four people in the room. Hearing him say those words with such ease in a baritone, Lan Qiren almost felt guilty for not knowing a solution to his problem. It sounded like a practised sentence that he had used over and over again.

"Master Wei", Baixue couldn't even say anything further before Wei Wuxian interrupted her, "You don't have to worry about it, I will find a solution soon. I hear you've been training under Zewu-Jun, just focus on it. I am sure Sect Leader Lan is great, after all he is Lan Zhan's elder brother. You must learn from him, while you still have a chance."

"Master Wei, I-", she was interrupted by him again, "No need to think too much, it won't take three months again, since I have already figured out half of it, I'll come up with something. After all, who am I, I am the Yiling Patriarch. If I can't figure it out, who can?"

"Wei Ying"

And that made him stop. Baixue looked between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian, she had tried twice to speak to him between his monologue to no avail, and this made him stop? She would have scoffed, if she knew how.

Lan Xichen only smiled at her when she looked at him for answers. If you're wondering, no, that smile did not answer her questions.

Lan Wangji looked at her as if asking her to speak, so she thanked him with a bow and said, "Master Wei, what I wanted to say was that it doesn't matter whether it takes three months or three years, it's not like, I want to run away. I think you are a really good person. I really want to get to know you. After all we do share the same parents. I know that this life is something I owe you, and I will protect you with it, if I have to. It is only that I want to do it willingly and not because of a curse or a bond that binds me to do it. If I die saving you, I want people to know that it wasn't because I had to do it but because I wanted to. Because someone cared enough about the Yiling Patriarch to lay down their own life for him. Had my master just asked me to do it, I would have said yes. Master Wei, I am sorry, if my past actions made you think that I hated you. I do not, I just don't know how to express myself.", her voice was soft, it was clear that she struggled to voice her thoughts. She wasn't used to speaking too much in one go, if she had taken time to organise her thoughts and speak in full sentences, it could only mean that she was desperate to make her point clear.

Wei Wuxian looked at her with an unreadable expression, he didn't know what to make of everything she had said. He didn't want her to think that she owed her life to him, because she didn't. Even if Baoshan Sanren had found him back then, she couldn't possibly have saved him, he would still have made the same choices. Besides, he knew, the moment he gave up his golden core, that his life was hanging by a thread. Even before that, it was only a matter of time before his body collapsed. Although he didn't remember much of his parents or his childhood, he did remember that there had always been something wrong with his body, his chest had been in constant pain. His heartbeat was either too slow or too fast. Back when he had to spend a couple of years in the streets, he had survived only because he held onto the hope that his parents would return for him someday. He didn't really know what was wrong with his heart. Even Wen Qing, who was acclaimed to be the best at healing in their generation, could not tell. But she did still tell him that he did not have much time left, not without his golden core. He vaguely recalled his mother smiling and naming his condition a wild horse heart since it didn't ever seem to be under control and his father had told him that if he grew up to cultivate a strong golden core, he could even run faster than the "wild horse". It was a part of the resson, he had desperately cultivated because the golden core kept the pain at bay but no matter how hard he trained, or how strong his golden core was, he still couldn't get his heart to function the way it was supposed to. At least, Baixue had a chance to live a happy and long life. Why should she have to give it up for him? Even if she wanted to, he wouldn't let her.

Wei Wuxian knew what it felt like to know that your life wasn't yours. Ever since Sect Leader Jaing had taken him back to Lotus Pier, he had always felt that he owed his life to him and his family. This was precisely why he had promised Uncle Jaing and Madam Yu to protect their children with his life and had given up his cultivation without a second thought. He did not want that for Baixue. He did not want that for anyone.

When Wei Wuxian did not speak for a long time, the three Lans looked at each other with questioning gazes, it was unlike him to remain quiet when he was being spoken to. Lan Wangji was about to call out his name when a small smile formed on his face and he ruffled Baixue's hair as he spoke, "You owe me nothing. It is your life, don't think of giving it up for anyone." He paused for a moment, when he saw a flicker of some emotion pass through the ice-blue eyes, he sighed and smiled again, "Little Snow, let Brother worry about you for a little while. I promise everything will be alright soon." He let his hand fall to his side, a ghost of a smile still playing on his lips, "It's just a curse. If I can't even break it, am I even worthy of my title?"

Even Lan Qiren's eyes softened at that, so Wei Wuxian had already accepted that she was his sister. He looked at his younger nephew, who was looking at Wei Wuxian with an expression that said, there was more to the boy's words than he let on.

"Wei Ying", Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji acknowledging him, "I may know of a way."

When the younger continued to stare at him without speaking, Lan Wangji took the opportunity to continue, "Let me help you."