𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃──𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘬𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘦𝘳

━━ 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣

Selyn has to think about these words first, to carefully take those broken parts and put them together to form an image of her sister she can understand, one that she can sympathize with. And so she turns her sister's feelings and her own frustration and anger in her head, until the right response comes to her.

They are walking through the city on their shift as she brings it up again.

"Cleodys," she says, forcing confidence into her tone. "I've been thinking about what you said that day."

She can see her sister tense, like an animal caught in a bright light, ready to run. A wary look creeps into her eyes, but her voice remains calm as she answered. "You must think me pathetic and weak."

"No, of course not," Selyn answers quickly. "I know you don't want my pity, so let me just say that I think you would have deserved being a Jedi more than me."

Cleodys throws her a surprised glance.

"You've always been so eager to travel to the stars, always so curious about what mysteries they held. I would have been content to stay home, with Ma and Pa and grow up here on Crylles, in safety. It's actually quite ironic, I feel as if our roles are reversed: you would have made the perfect Jedi, so confident, so strong and independent. You've always had that hunger in you that could only be stilled by an extraordinary life."

"Maybe having you as a sister is what will make my life extraordinary," Cleodys says. It's a peace offer and Selyn smiles at the kind words. "But you seem to fill your role perfectly," her sister continues. "You seem so experienced and confident in what you're doing."

"I try my best to appear that way. And I strive to learn as much as possible, to be as good as possible and to seize this chance that was given me. But I've wished countless times to just be able to go home, to a family that protects you and makes you feel safe. This life you dreamt of, it was hard, it still is, it is lonely and it holds a lot of pressure. You cannot imagine how much I wished for having a family."

"You've got that family now," Cleodys says hesitantly, almost shy.

"I know. Thank you." Selyn touches her hand briefly.

For a moment they are quiet, but Selyn can feel Cleodys struggling for words. "Thank you for being so patient with me, Selyn. These things...feelings...this doesn't come natural to me. Not at all. I can't open up that easily, just expose my most hidden, ugly thoughts to the world. I'm not good at that, and I don't like how it makes me feel vulnerable. But I want to talk about this with you, to get this jealousy and envy out of the way, so that we can be sisters like we used to again. I did not enjoy this, to have such negative feelings towards my own blood. Because, god, Selyn, I missed you so much."

"Me too." Selyn grins at her, relieved that this easy atmosphere from their childhood days is partly restored. "You know, Nadia always says, jealousy is the deadliest and most subtle poison to happiness. Because it can sneak in anywhere without being noticed."

"She's very wise," Cleodys says quietly. "For the record, I still envy you for all your amazing journeys through the galaxy. But I'm not...bitter anymore. Jealousy is for the ones who are too weak to pursue their own dreams. But I'm not weak like that anymore. I know I can venture where you went, too."

"You never struck me as weak, Cleodys. I always considered you to be the strongest of us all."

"I appreciate the compliment, but you're underestimating yourself," her sister warns.