Beautifully Unfinished

7

CHAPTER 7

"I'm not going. That's final." I say.

"Oh come on Miranda. Don't be such a baby! Maybe fate has led you back to him."

I roll my eyes at no one, "Well fate is definitely wrong about this."

"No. It's not." She argues.

I arched an eyebrow at Vivian who was busy looking for my outfit to wear tonight. "Really. After seven years? And why on earth would that be?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe it's time you need to tell him the truth? That he got you pregnant? That he's the father to Ben?"

"Shhh, Ben might hear you." I shushed right away.

She sighs. "Miranda, I'm your friend for better or for worst."

I know where this conversation is going.

She continues, "But what and why are you so afraid?"

I didn't answer.

"Ben needs a dad." She states and emphasizes on the second word. I know that. "He needs a father's love. And I'm not saying you can't give it to him but it's different when a man is around." She adds.

"Okay I know that Vivian." I stare on my hand trying to look for the words to say. "I'm fully aware of that. I'm sad that Ben can't feel that kind of love from his father. I'm sad that my own son doesn't have a dad that he can call his own. I feel bad and have always been."

I sigh, "And no matter how I show him that I love him, it still won't be enough. But I'm just scared for Ben. I don't want him to feel neglected at a young age."

"Oh come on the resemblance is beyond the word obvious." She tells me and I doubt she was even listening to what I said.

"Still, I'm not going tonight."

She throws me a shirt and luckily I ducked right away. "You're a party-poop." She whines.

"I don't want to have dinner with him. I don't want to get any form of attachment from him." I say.

"Stop with that I don't, I don't thing will you? What attachment? It's just dinner."

"Exactly!" I gestured my hand. "I don't want to see him again. I've been scarred all my life for what happened to me and it makes me sad because I can't change it." My voice cracks

Vivian walks to me and rubs my back.

"But Ben is the most beautiful thing that happened to me.... I just.." I exhale heavily. "I feel so disgusted of myself when I think about that night and how his eyes dilated seeing the bloodstain and--"

"Disgusted? Harry Styles fucked you that night. That's not something disgusting dear." She states proudly, prouder than me.

I rolled my eyes at her again, "And I still don't remember anything from that night too and seeing Harry again just makes that scar bleed once more."

"Hey. All I'm saying is, you need to give it a chance. Maybe fate has led you back to Harry so you two can start any form of closure."

Closure? I don't think that's the kind of closure I want.

I got quiet as I drown on my own thoughts.

"Come on. It's just dinner. And Arthur thinks you should go too." She adds.

I sigh.

"Miranda come on. He's reaching out to you. And remember he wrote it on the letter that he's expecting you. So you need to go." She urges me.