Dysphoria- An Umbrella Academy Fanfiction

†a glimpse into the past

That was clearly not the answer Octavia wanted as she let out a high-pitched scream that made Diego almost let go of her to cover his ears. "Stop it Via!" He yelled but was ignored.

"I miss him," Octavia's hair was stuck to her feverish face in long black tendrils, "Don't you miss him?"

"No." Reginald snapped back harshly. "I do not 'miss him', your brother defied my orders and was careless, which resulted in his death, no doubt helped by the inaction of you and your siblings, now you must stop this nonsense immediately, do you understand me?"

Diego reached in front of him and stroked his sisters cheek, still hugging (restraining) her from behind.

"Come on V-V-Via, lets go t-t-to bed?"

But Octavia Hargreeves had already started screaming. 

And. She. Would. Not. Stop.

∆∆∆

Octavia used to be beautiful. Octavia used to be a lot of things, before everything changed... before...

What was she saying? She couldn't remember.

Octavia used to have a brother who reminded her that she was beautiful, even when she didn't feel like herself. Who used to tell her how much they were growing, how much they were all changing. And, of course, she knew that - she could feel it somewhere deep inside her, all that changing - but he'd always said it like it was something exciting. Like it was something good.

He'd never stopped telling her she was beautiful, either - even after she had changed. Even after those first few terrible months when He had begun to snake through her head.

Octavia used to have a brother. And now he was gone. 

∆∆∆

Reginald was steadily getting more and more exasperated as the night turned into early morning.

It had been hours and Diego was also nearing the brink. When it was clear she had gotten herself in such a state that there would be no returning until they did something drastic, he had to physically carry the thrashing Octavia down to the soundproof training room and hold her down as she continued to writhe and kick in his grasp like an injured snake.

Diego backed into a corner at his Fathers request. He didn't want to leave her alone in this state, but the distance admittedly made him feel better.

"What's wrong with her?" Diego looked up, hearing his sisters voice. His eyes flickered to Allison and Vanya, a wave of anger bubbled inside him when he saw how tired they looked; none of the siblings had slept much in the past few months.

"She's been like t-t-this for hours, I can't r-remember the l-l-last time she was t-this b-b-bad." Diego said, his arms wrapped around his stomach, trying to comfort himself through his sisters screams.

Vanya was gently pushed towards her writhing sister by Grace, standing behind the two girls.

Moving slowly, Vanya kneeled on the floor, lifting Octavia's head and placing it gently on her own thighs. 

"Via," She whispered, "Via can you hear me?"

For a moment Octavia looked like she was understanding and responding and Diego held his breath in utter hope. Hope that was soon destroyed when her face twisted in confusion and began to let out painful cries.

The siblings looked to their father, who was still taking notes in the corner. Vanya threaded her fingers through Octavia's damp hair, and Reginald looked to Grace.

The robot pushed Allison forward towards her sister.

On shaky legs, she sat criss-cross next to Octavia, Vanya still trying to keep her calm by running her fingers though her dark hair.

Following a barked order from his father, Diego too joined them, holding Octavia's sweaty palm to comfort her as best he could. 

The reaction from Allison's rumour was immediate, and for the first time all night Octavia stilled and and stared at the ceiling panting in exhaustion.

They sat in their strange circle in tense silence until Octavia finally closed her eyes.

The siblings breathed a collective sigh of relief and all looked to their father for instructions on what to do next.

Octavia's eyes snapped open and she grabbed Diego's arm with such intense strength that pain bloomed almost immediately.

"You'll get what you always wanted," Octavia's said, in a voice not her own, her head turned to Allison, black eyes glassy as if she were a corpse. "but the price of getting what you want is getting what you thought you wanted." Diego could not help but yelp as he felt the bones beginning to be crushed inside his skin.

"Let go Via, let go!" Vanya's voice was too panicked to make it sound like an order and Diego could not help but scream when his wrist finally gave away and snapped. Allison screamed next.

"The price you pay." Octavia muttered again, not breaking eye contact with Allison and threw Diego with inhuman strength against the padded wall before her eyes rolled back in her head.

Diego heard his shoulder dislocate before he felt it, and as he slid slowly to the ground he could only feel agony. For a moment he just shut his eyes, trying to regulate his breathing and keep the tears from bay but Allisons hysterical sobs were not helping matters.

"Is he bleeding? Dad is he bleeding?" Diego realised he had not heard Vanya call Reginald 'Dad' since Ben's accident. He heard footsteps and a pair of arms went under his sore ribs and hoisted him up. Diego could feel Graces' cold hands running over his body checking for injuries, and refused to admit how comforting it felt.

Vanya and Allison ran over to comfort him, Allison taking his hand while Vanya stood behind Grace awkwardly. Diego tried to scoff at Allisons sudden display of affection but immediately winced afterward when the jolt sent shocks of pain through his body.

Allison looked dejected and hung back next to Vanya, avoiding both of their gazes. The moment hung between the three of them like a heavy cloud, and, a bit stunned from it, Diego just held out his dislocated shoulder and held his breath.

This however, did not stop the whimper that slipped out when his 'mother' popped it back into place but the relief was immediate.  Shaking the remaining ache off, he pushed past his sisters and staggered towards the door. The night had been too much and he desperately needed to be alone.

The sisters looked towards their father, who was detachedly inspecting Octavia on the ground.

"Diego." Vanya called after him but was coldly ignored.

"Diego come back-" Allison tried to say but was cut off by the slamming of the door.