SILENCE | ATEEZ

9 | Resuscitating A Hope

"Charge to 200 joules. Clear!"

He places the paddles on her chest once again, with a tinge sense of hope running through his mind. Saera's body jolts upwards once again, and a minute long of silence fills in the room before the monitor begins to beep again, signalling a pulse is finally found.

Seonghwa lets out a sigh of relief as he hands the paddle over to the nurse, directly going to her side. He puts a hand over her forehead feeling the burning sensation on her skin. Moving away, he calls a nurse for a napkin and a basin of water and gradually takes his seat on the side of the bed. Slowly, he picks up the napkin, submerging it into the water.

His hand squeezes the remaining excess water, at the same time feeling a slight fright in the deepest corner of his heart. His mind starts to wonder what would happen if she lost her life just now, what would happen to everything that was planned. He can't lose her. Seonghwa stops, calculating his movements as he closes her eyes for a moment, taking in the shock that has been ignited in him. The napkin stays in the basin as he let his head rest down on the side of the bed, trying to push away those feelings that have been haunting him, the sense of guilt.

He can't afford to lose her again.

Inch by inch, he drags the napkin across her forehead, wiping it down as gently as he could. Saera is breathing steadily now, sleeping all through the rough process he had to endure alone. Seonghwa clutches on the napkin after, holding his breath before crumpling it down in his fist. Guilt comes creeping into his chest once again, turning him just a little more crazy.

Hours pass, and he doesn't know for how long but a movement on the bed in front of where he laid his head startles him from his sleep. Seonghwa springs awake and he sees Saera's arms moving, gradually finding himself staring at her. She tries to move again but Seonghwa can't seem to move himself either, until he hears a sore voice.

"Take these wires off me."

Seonghwa breaks into a smile as he looks over at her. That's the Saera he knows. The girl that fights so hard against everything that is in her way that even death was scared of her. He stands to help her remove the wires that are coiling all around her chest as he monitors the screen, making sure everything is under control.

"You relapsed again," he says, realising he has a slump in his throat as he coughs a few times after.

"Was it bad? Many people saw it?" she manages, in a joking manner but she doesn't laugh, too tired to even utter a word.

Seonghwa lets out a chuckle, "you were in the lift. Only me and the nurses. Don't worry, I still hold on to the promise you forced me on."

Saera rolls her eyes, her hand moves to take off the tube that is inserted in her nose but Seonghwa quickly stops her, "not yet, your oxygen level is not quite pretty now."

"I'm surprised you still remember," her hoarse voice rings through his ears as she tries to smile, weakly. "I dreamt about something. It was.. so peculiar. I was in a garden, full of.. white flowers. They are so pretty I thought they were real."

From the corner of her eyes, she sees his smile slowly falter as she continues telling him about the dream she had. A dream that feels very vivid to her, as if it is calling her to life. As if it was her reality and that she doesn't belong here, in VESTRA. She tells him everything, truthfully. She can no longer believe what is real and what is not as it always appears as if everything is diverging into multiple realities that holds her back.

Seonghwa falls silent. He doesn't respond to her when she finishes and decides to leave the room. She calls out for him a few times but Seonghwa doesn't turn, he feels his own mind racing with thoughts lacing with guilt that is pinning him down to the ground. He can't bear to look at her, but he knows, deep in his heart, he needs to do something that he forbids himself from doing.

Walking as he passes through the countless doors to multiple rooms on the floor, he finally reaches a room that has been on his mind all a while after Saera's relapse. He knocks on the door, before grabbing the handle and swinging it open, revealing a small room that only consists of a desk full of papers, a bed and a nightstand. On the nightstand there's a box of hair dye. His eyes trails around the room before catching a glimpse of a person coming out from the toilet, just finishing with his night routine.

"President?"

"Hongjoong, I need you to do something for me. Quick."

_

"What is your roll number?"

Jongho gives a look towards Hongjoong, his arms hugging his chest as he takes off the head piece to have a better look.

"289."

A realisation hits Hongjoong when he catches up with Jongho's response, before quickly tapping on something on the monitor. Everyone's attention turns to him as he lets out a sigh of frustration, running his hands through his blonde hair. Hongjoong grit his teeth when he turns around, facing the others that seemed eager to hear anything coming out from him.

"No wonder," he lets out, closing his eyes for a moment. Mingi nearly advances forward to swing a punch as his blood is boiling but Wooyoung is fast enough to pull him back. Hongjoong frowns, rubbing his eyes as he takes in the information in front of him.

"You're the only group who doesn't have enough members isn't it?" he asks, his index pointing towards Jongho after, "and you're the newbie that was not assigned any mentor, am I right? Roll 289, Choi Jongho. Kang Yeosang was your leader before San took over."

Upon hearing Yeosang's name, it initiates more anger burning inside of Mingi's chest. He takes a step forward to look at the monitor before turning to Hongjoong. His gaze lowers down at the sight of the operator, dissatisfied with what he just said. With a slight shift in his demeanour, Mingi takes a deep breath.

"Where is he?" his voice low, sending shivers down everyone's spine. Elenna bit her lips, knowing there's nothing she could do to simmer down the anger boiling inside her brother. It was rare to see him acting the way he did, as Mingi was always the most patient one. Even when it's just between him and her, she's almost sure that it was her who gets mad first towards something.

Now it is as if he's shifting into someone else.

Hongjoong gulps, fearing another attack coming from him. With a shaky voice, he tries to move away bit by bit from Mingi.

"It's.. it's about time," he says, earning a grunt from Mingi, "all of you must follow me."

"Seriously what the hell is wrong with you people? You tortured San and now you're asking us to follow you?" Wooyoung's voice greets everyone's ears suddenly, "whatever it is you want to do with us, finish it now. I just want this to be over with for fuck's sakes."

A sudden cough coming from San startles all of them. Wooyoung doesn't budge while the other rushes towards him. His eyes are still on Hongjoong, demanding an answer from him. Hongjoong is out of words himself, but he knows he has to do what he was asked to do. He can't just escape halfway because he is scared of them, he can't just let go.

"San is already awake. We need to move now," Hongjoong managed to reply as he maintained eye contact with Wooyoung. Arin, who is still standing by Wooyoung's side, dares to take another step forward to study Hongjoong who is now already having his hand on the lift button. Arin glances at him up and down, trying to search for anything that could potentially make them see him as a threat.

"He is genuine," Arin whispers, only enough for Wooyoung to hear. His eyebrows furrowed, and she kept on nodding her head, trying to make him believe her. "Trust me."

He rolls his eyes as he hears the others already making their ways towards the glass door. Hongjoong's face breaks into a small relief as they obey, raising his hand as he lets them walk first into the lift, before getting in himself. San is breathing hard within them, having Mingi helping to hold him up. They didn't say anything as Hongjoong punches his card on the scan detector, proceeding to scan his thumb before pressing on the 17th floor.

"Hongjoong," Elenna suddenly calls out to the blonde, her eyes focusing on him, "what will happen to our second quarter? Where are you taking us?"

"Your group already passed this quarter. Now, all of you just need to follow me," Hongjoong utters carefully as he moves towards the door, "I'll take you to him. To Yeosang.. and others."