The Fire Throne (Zutara)

V

"Kuzon, darling, perhaps you'll forgive me for coming in here. I wish I had come more.

You probably will think my reasoning silly. Perhaps you're even upset with me. I would understand it. I have not been as kind as I wish to be.

The truth is...I feel like I am losing all my children, all at once.

Azula is...

Sorry, I can't speak ill of her. I know what she is, in my heart. And it kills me. I feel as though I have failed some great test in life. I tried so hard to assure she would not turn out like Ozai. Do you not think I saw it in her eyes, from such a young age? And I was not worried every moment she grew that there was this darkness inside of her that I was unable to stop.

And I think a long time ago I came to terms that perhaps...perhaps I would lose her.

But I never expected to lose Zuko.

Or you.

Speaking of Zuko right now is too painful. I am still at war with my thoughts. And I do not wish to hurt him, but parts of me are in agony that Ozai is gone.

I should not be. But he was my husband for many years.

But you, oh, Aang. Will you let me call you that? I hope so. I hope you will wake up and we can have a good talk.

Did you know I wanted a third child? I thought perhaps Azula, as an older sibling, would learn to be...kinder. And I always wanted a large family.

We tried, but alas...it never came to pass.

So when you came to the palace...young, unsure, gangly, and so genuine, it felt like the spirits had answered. I have thought of you as my second son, my third child. Forgive me for this. I know you had a family, and I'm sure you loved them very much.

So I find it hard to be in here. To be faced with an outcome that I very much wish never to happen. But that is selfish of me. You must be struggling, and as a mother, I should be here for you. So I will. I will be in here every day, reminding you that you are very loved, and if you can fight, I hope you do.

Because, if I am to lose you too, I think my heart will break in two."

XX

'Oh! Katara!"

Katara wandered around the camp in a daze. It wasn't until she heard someone calling her name repeatedly that she looked up, blinking into the sun.

She was in the courtyard where all the girls from the Choice were being housed. She hadn't meant to be checking up on them, but now that she was here, she figured she probably should.

It was Cilla who was waving her over. Ari was with her, as instructed, but he didn't seem bothered about being forced to hang around a group of girls all the time. Katara suspected that he was just pleased not to be locked away.

She and a whole slew of the others were lounging on a stone bench next to a wall, seemingly chatting together and enjoying a plate of Air Temple fruit in front of them. Suki had two baby lemurs on her lap, and On Ji was trying to entice one to play with a bit of twine. Besu was stretching out, grinning into the warm sun. Ratana was cutting some fruit for the whole group. Yue was sitting a bit distanced from the rest, and her expression was as far away as Katara's own mind felt. Mai was also there, surprisingly, though she looked a bit out of place.

"Hi, what's up?" Katara asked, forcing her own worries from her mind. Perhaps a distraction would be good for her own mental turmoil.

As Katara approached, Ratana glanced over her shoulder and giggled, and Cilla followed suit. On Ji's face was bright red and it seemed she couldn't stop laughing like she was cursed. Even Suki was deeply interested in something that Katara couldn't see from her current perspective.