Another day, another update<3 The last chapter was based on Avyansh's POV from last night, so this chapter now is in Mansi's POV from the same night after he sleeps. Happy Reading!!
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"If I were to kiss you then go to hell, I would. So then I can brag with the devils I saw heaven without entering it."
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Just as Avyansh started to drift off to sleep, ruffling his brown messy hair I softly kissed his forehead but a single tear drop rolled down my left eye.
Wiping off the tear, I tucked him in his blanket properly and sat with him on the bed near him, looking at our adjoining hands which he hadn't decided to leave.
I leaned my back on the bedrest and got comfortable trying to sleep peacefully but I knew that my mind and heart were anywhere but at peace. I closed my eyes and the flashback of the whole day came in front of me.
How we all were enjoying, but he shouted. The way he still acted like it was okay, The way his mood changed suddenly, and then he got a panic attack. The way he was crying and the way my heart ached seeing him in pain.
Kanha Ji, why can't everything be normal? Why do you give me hope when in the end it has to shatter?!
Why does he act like he's cold when he's not? What is it that keeps him awake all night? Being a psychologist myself, I know that panic attacks occur due to a trigger but what on earth is that, god? Why did he get a panic attack? Many questions but no answers.
I never thought 'The Avyansh Raghuvanshi' who wouldn't think twice before ruining someone's life is himself so broken, so shattered that he'd get a panic attack.
'Maa, Papa, I was supposed to hate him, to maintain a distance, not to fall for him but how can I not? Seeing this state of Avyansh, a piece in me broke, as if all I wanted to do was to embrace him tightly, hiding him from the world.'
Unknowingly, tears started flowing down my cheeks as a whimper escaped from me.
'Why does his vulnerable side affect me so much? Why do I still care about him?'
'What I am feeling for him is not sympathy, it can never be. He's someone I'll always look up to. I always thought that maybe I was just attracted to him but no, I was so wrong. I LIKE HIM, MAA! Not just any infatuation, any attraction but a solid crush on him. Seeing him break down in front of me was something I wish I could erase but only if it was possible.'
At this point, it felt like my mind and heart had their own plan and fights. Where on one side, my heart was excusing all his shoutings as he was suffering himself, my mind questioned, why me? He still doesn't get a right to shout at me whenever he thinks it's right.
