Dumb Love- Lando Norris

35.

"I can do that right away"

"And Miss Hill.  Know that what we do is in your best interests.  You have to realise you won't be as popular as you are forever, someone newer and younger will come alone" he still can't help one last jibe, "we encourage you to capitalise on your popularity, that is all.  We dont want to be at war with you, that is never our intention"

Words play over and over in my head, but I am not focused on the thinly veiled threats I know he wants me to.  The sentences that keep repeating at the ones from Lando. 

"Notes" I say lowly and look away from the camera. I sit back in my chair and fold my arms, happy to stare out the window as Jennifer quickly wraps up the meeting. 

"Jesus.  Can you believe that? The guys a knobhead" Jenny criticises as she closes the laptop.  I dont respond, "Lottie, are you okay? You haven't been with it this evening, I'm worried"

I shake my head and she grimaces, "not really" I admit with a deep sigh, the hurricane of emotions start to twist in my stomach, "I feel like im being dragged in all different directions.  Like whatever choice I make isn't the right one" I wasn't for a second talking about the conversation with Mr Shawcross. 

"Hey, listen" she says with a motherly tone as I turn to look at her, "we will get through this together okay? And I dont want you to worry, this is what you pay me for right? This is my job.  These people are just greedy, that's all it is.  I promise you kid, its will get sorted"

"Thank you" I say with the ghost of a smile, "I honestly dont know what I'd do without you" I massage the back if my neck and sigh, "they can go fuck themselves.  I know they won't win this battle"

"Atta girl!" she says cheerily and pats me on the back, "and, I'm always here for you, you know that" her phone lights up on the table, "Ah, Bill's ready when you are to taker you home.  It's been a long evening, I'm sure Lando misses you"

"Terrible timing on your part there Jenny" I laugh bitterly as she gives me a concerned look.

"Whats happened?"

I can barely look at Jenny, my eyes focused solely on the cuffs of my sleeve, "we had a few cross words earlier to say the least.  And me being me couldn't let it go so I made it worse by biting back.  Then he goes in for the jugular" I sigh as I anxiously pick on a thread of my blouse, "we ended up having the worst argument we've ever had"

"It can't be perfect all the time Lot" I feel a gentle touch to my shoulder, "do you want to tell me about it?" she asks so softly, the look in her eye is nothing but supportive and earnest. 

So I do.

I finish up the retelling of the events and shake my head, "the worst part was, it came out of nowhere.  I just-" I stop, the words sticking to my throat, "I just wanted to be there for him. He just wasn't having any of it"

Jenny rubs soothing circles onto my back as I fight off the urge to cry, "we say things in the heat of the moment when we're stressed.  And I know he'll be reeling from what he said to you" she says cautiously and my mind casts back to months ago when I was at my lowest after he slept with Luisa. "Sometimes we forget that other people need to love and support differently to how we do.  Some people like Lando can't accept it for themselves despite giving it to others.  Its a tough road, but as long as you stay on it together, you'll be fine"

I nod slowly, the idea of not going back home to him tonight fills me with heartbreak. "I just dont even know if he'll want to see me right now.  I left quite abruptly and definitely eluded I wouldnt be coming back tonight"

"Of course he wants to see you.  I dont think there's been a moment since you met he's wanted to tear his eyes away from you" I smile as I remember the way Jenny had taken to Lando instantly, despite her usual stern and protective demeanour around me. "Its special what you two have Lot, I really mean that" she states everything with an honest conviction, her voice quiet but carrying.