Stop. And Go

I • (Trying) •

...selfish.

        "Any idea on how we're going to get her out of here?" Gloria spoke, leveling to Madeline's ear.

"I was literally just thinking that," she laughed, "I have no idea."

•••••

        Sober enough to at least walk, Madeline and Gloria lugged Tina out of the bar as she slurred "I love you's" with her arms sprawled across their shoulders.

Gloria sighed, "I love you too," she murmured with obvious contempt. She had been drinking too, but unlike Tina, Gloria knew when to stop. 

Guiding their unusually heavy friend to the side of a crowded building, they ambled through a large group comprised of mostly females.

"Let's just sit you down for a minute so I can try to catch us a cab," Madeline suggested.

          "Mads—" A male voice called out from behind her.

She ignored the name—no one had called her that in years. 

"Madeline—" The same voice called out to her again, only this time in a boisterous tone.

        She could no longer pretend that someone wasn't trying to get her attention, but she continued ignoring it.

Shooting Madeline a confused look, Gloria's eyes shifted to the crowd behind her—certain that she had heard the guy calling out her name.

        Ignoring her name and the look of her friend, Madeline started toward the sidewalk to flag down a cab, feeling a sudden grip on her arm.

Jerking her arm out of the stranger's grasp, Madeline whirled around ready to strike—only to see a pair of familiar eyes gazing back at her.

Before Madeline recognized where she'd seen those eyes before, he was pulling her into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

...this wasn't a stranger.

         His hands went to the tops of her shoulders as he took a step back, observing her in utter disbelief, "The fuck you doin' here?"

Recognizing a strange feeling she hadn't felt in a long time, Madeline smiled—she could breathe again.

          "I live here," she laughed, "well, not here—I live over in Greenwich."

Regardless of how much he had matured, Madeline still saw Julian as the way he once was. He seemed taller than she remembered; skinny, but filled-out. He was no longer a boy anymore.

...he was a man.

        "That's crazy, I go by there all the time," he pointed in the direction of Greenwich, holding a lit cigarette Madeline hadn't noticed. "How long've you been back here?"

"Almost two years?"

"And I'm just now runnin' into you?" Julian grinned, flicking ashes from his cigarette.

        "Between work and school... I don't get out much." Although it was mostly true, it was a choice.

...her choice.

"What d'you do?—what are you studying?" Julian asked as he brought the filter to his lips.

          A distinct sound Madeline knew all too well pulled her attention back to the girls sitting against the building behind them.

She grimaced at the sight of Tina hurling on the side of the pavement as Gloria gave a comforting stroke to her hair.

Madeline gave Julian a halfhearted smile, "I'm sorry, but I really gotta get them home."

        "We should hangout. I live in the East Village—right over there by Thompkins Square." Julian talked as he walked, following Madeline to the edge of the sidewalk. He put up an arm alongside her, helping to flag down a cab.

"Yeah, that'd be nice," Madeline spoke with indifference, keeping her eyes on the road filled with passing cars.

There was too much going on. She was worried that if she looked at Julian for too long, her friends would disappear.

As comforting as it was to see Julian again, it was also terrifying. He didn't know her anymore—he didn't know the person she was, or what all she'd been through to become that person. Julian knew who she used to be, which was something she hadn't been in a long time.

         Hauling Tina up from the sidewalk, Madeline rushed to help Gloria as a cab rolled to a stop at the curb.

        "Can I get your number, or... give you mine?" Julian asked, tossing his cigarette into the street as he opened the cab door for them.

Helping Tina inside, Gloria glanced between the oddly close pair while doting a whimsical grin.

Madeline shook her head, as if to tell Gloria that her interaction with the mysteriously cute young man was far from what she thought it was.

"Uh, yeah—you got a pen?"

"I do, actually," Julian flashed a smug grin as he reached into his back pocket, "I accidentally stole it... it's not mine."

        When he was done writing his number on Madeline's arm, she did the same to Julian. Holding his arm steady, the softness of his skin was just the same as she remembered.

         "Hi," Gloria spoke softly with heavy eyes.

Peering through her lashes over at Gloria, Madeline couldn't restrain the laugh in her throat.

She shook her head, "Gloria, this is my old friend, Julian- Julian, this is my friend, Gloria."

"How's it goin'," Reaching across his adjacent arm Madeline was still scribbling on, Julian slipped his hand into Gloria's.

"Right now, it's going pretty good," Gloria nodded, and so did Julian. He let go of her hand, bashfully scratching the side of his head, "She's single, just so you know."

        Rolling her eyes, Madeline handed the pen back to Julian, "She's drunk, just so you know," she snapped.

Julian smirked with pressed lips, "So... you'll call me?"

"Yeah." Madeline started into the cab, pushing Gloria in before her.

         "Wait—Mads," Julian called out as she started to close the door. It was clear he thought better of what he had planned to say. Instead, he shook his head, "It was good seein' you again. Tell your mom I said 'hi.'"

Madeline nodded with a smile, waving him off before shutting the door.