Ranger Marsh

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(Look just imagine the Southern accent how am I supposed to write it???)


"Uh... Don't mean to be a party pooper or anything but I don't think I can-"

"Aww come on Pa," Tweak laughed. "I got through it I reckon you can too."

"Well that's mighty sweet of you to think that but why in tarnation are you on his team?" Marsh asked somewhat desperately with the final words being punctuated by gestures at a rather offended Crash.

"My team isn't that bad," he complained. "And it's fun to see your Pa squirm isn't it," he added with a grin at Tweak.

"Sorry Pa, it really is," laughed the engineer in question. "Don't worry so much! I'm sure it'll be fine. It's not even like you're shipped with anyone or anything."

"Ship? What's the, uh, meaning of this here word? Never knew you could ship 'with' someone if ya know what I mean."

"Never mind," the ranger's daughter said hurriedly. "The point is, the questions aren't as bad as the ones the rest of us are getting."

"Yeah, yeah, thanks for that," Princess said somewhat nonchalantly. "Now we gonna start this thing or what?"

"Oh we're starting alright," Crash said with a smirk. "Let's get this show on the road. Amy?"

"Yessir Crashy. First question on the list. Do you prefer to stay in the Everglades or do you also enjoy going out on missions to different places?"

"Hmm, hard to say... I do love stretching the old ears a little, going places new, travelling the world and the like..."

"And the but? I can tell one's coming..." Princess prompted.

"Yeah, hold your horses lady. I do believe that the best of places are the ones we were born and bred in. So yeah, I guess you could say that there's no place like home when it comes to me. There's just something 'bout that swamp air and greenery that you don't find anywhere else in the world."

"There is," agreed Tweak. "Travelling the world's nice and all but there's something 'bout the Everglades ya just can't beat."

"Fair," Princess nodded. "Childhood memories stick with a certain quality."

"Yup," said Amy. "Now next question. If Tweak wasn't destined to become an engineer, my favourite Octonaut and personal hero, would you want her to be the next ranger of the Everglades?"

"Oh absolutely," Ranger Marsh replied immediately. "In fact, I wanted her to be the next ranger anyways."

"That's true," Tweak attested. "When I first saw the invitation to go to one of the universities for a course in engineering, I think it was that FSU offer, and we had this long talk over dinner about what I wanted to do with my life." The green bunny sighed. "By the end of the night we'd decided to take the course. But sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I stayed, ya know?"

"Well," said her father, wrapping an arm around her. "You wouldn't have met these amazing people you see before you."

"But I'd see you more often."

"That's true, you would. Just stuck with boring old me. Think about it. You wouldn't ever have met your best friend Dashi, you would never have the resources to build a Gup, you wouldn't ever have met Kwa-"

"Dad!" Tweak interrupted, exasperated.

"Point is," chuckled the ranger. "Engineering's the path you were destined for and it brought you great places eh Tweakster?"

"Yeah," said Tweak quietly, looking around the room with a slightly disconnected and distant look in her eyes.

"Righty-ho," said the Ranger. "I suppose you folks have more questions for me?"

"Yes we do," grinned Amy. "Who do you think enjoys eating carrots more? You or Tweak?"

Ranger Marsh's eyes snapped to Tweak. Tweak's eyes snapped to Ranger Marsh. A comedically tense silence filled the room.

"Definitely Tweakster."

"Definitely Pa."

"Who ate all the carrot cake that one time before dinner?" Ranger Marsh grinned.

"Who wouldn't come out of his room when we ran out of carrots?" Tweak countered.

"Who wouldn't eat anything that didn't have carrots in it? In fact, who still doesn't?" Ranger Marsh argued. "The fish biscuits and kelp cakes all have a tiny bit of carrot. I can taste it."

"Well..." Tweak struggled to think of a reply. "Who stole from my secret stash when the carrots were taking a while to grow?"

Silence. Had she gone too far?

"Well," chuckled the Ranger. "Looks like I'm bested. Guess I enjoy eating carrots the most, if that answers your question."

"It does indeed," Amy laughed. "Final question from me: How did you become a ranger in the first place? Is it a family tradition?"

"Sure is," the Ranger said immediately. "My father was a ranger and his father before him and his mother was a ranger and her father before him and I think if you go back far enough, you get to Sherriff Rabbit, otherwise known as the Swampslinger."

"Swampslinger?"

"Yup. On account that he lived in the swamp. And he was a gun slinger. When it was agreed by the up top authorities and all that there was to be a ranger for this park, the town picked its Sherriff, and ever since, our family has been guarding this place with our lives."

"But..." Tweak looked like she was very afraid of the question she was about to ask. "But what will happen when you retire Pa? Who will be ranger?"

"You worry too much little bunny," Ranger Marsh laughed, ruffling Tweak's hair. "Probably your uncle. Then one of your cousins. We ain't the only living relatives of the old Sherriff, ya know."

"We aren't?"

"Not at all. Hasn't Shellington taught you 'bout rabbits? Most of us have lots and lots and lots of little bunnies. I was just the exception."

"And why's that?" Kwazii asked, before being hurriedly shushed by Tweak.

"No, no, let him ask," Ranger Marsh said slowly. "Uh... Charissa, that's Tweak's Ma, died soon after Tweak was born."

The room seemed to sag with sadness. Kwazii's shoulders drooped.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Tweak blinked back tears.

"No. It's okay. Sometimes we just gotta go into things like this and come out... Changed yes, but defeated no. It's important, I think."

"And since when did you go all wise girl on me?"

"Honestly? I learnt that from you, Kwaz."

Kwazii didn't look like he knew what to say as Tweak embraced him in the biggest bear hug he had ever been in (and the Captain had hugged him once before).

"Well... I'm still sorry for asking about such sensitive topics."

"Nonsense," chuckled Ranger Marsh, trying to regain his facade of bravado. "You do need to know some history about your in-laws after all."

Kwazii and Tweak blushed. Crash and Amy and pretty much everyone else were laughing.

"Well," laughed a breathless Amy, after a good fifteen seconds of laughing. "Who's next? Assuming you don't have any questions for Ranger Marsh."


"No, I don't," Crash nodded. "And I think we should question... Pearl, next."

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