Damned (Oli Sykes fanfic)

3- I'm On The Edge Of The World

"I'm positive, it doesn't seem like I have much of a choice anyway. Besides, I'll have a stable home and I can meet my real dad now." she replied, sounding quite solemn.

"Well, no matter how far apart we are you can still text me. We are still sisters even if not by blood, remember that. I love you so so much and you are an amazing young girl, I hope you find exactly what you need out there with him, I love you beyond human understanding, Goodbye Jess," sadness lacing my voice as I replied, my heart tearing as every word I spoke left my mouth. She nodded back, not even looking into my eyes. I guess this is too much for her to process at once.

"I'm ready to go," she told the two women and left the hotel room. I didn't get a proper goodbye off of her. I sighed. I have nothing left to live for now. No friends, no family, nothing. The depressive feelings rised in my body and I couldn't shut them out. I had been struggling with depression for a long time now. It felt like it was a part of me. Every day I was sinking further and further away from the surface, from normality. I got up, slipped some white vans on and left the hotel, not sure where I was headed but just walking. After walking for what felt like hours, I stumbled upon a bar on the corner of a street. I didn't even have time to think before I realised I was sitting on a bar stool, ordering a brandy and coke, plus a few shots.

"Rough day?" a tall bloke said, seeing the melancholy look I was displaying. He looked about 20 ish, brown fluffy hair, a silver nose ring, green eyes, tattoos and snake bites. He seems nice enough to chat to, to waste some time.

I scoffed,"yeah, you could say that." I grabbed the few shots I ordered and downed them straight away, each one burning my throat and washing down my ugly thoughts. As time went by, I ended up completely plonked, barely having control over my intake of alcohol. I looked around the club, it was starting to get empty. It must be closing time, God knows how long I've spent in this shitty pub. I just want the lonely inside me to leave. In all honesty, the alcohol only helped me forget for a while before I began to feel even worse than before. I hated that I resorted to alcohol. It was poison. It was the chemical that corrupted my mother, if I could even call her that. An old, short, blonde bloke-who was quite chubby-came over, interrupting my thoughts.

"Hey, what's a pretty girl like you doing in a bar all alone?"

"I-Uh I just am." I shrugged. This guy was creeping me out with only his stare.

"Well, if you're so alone, maybe I could keep you company, huh?" He kept eyeing my skirt and it was obvious what he wanted.

"Uh, no thank you, I have a boyfriend." I quickly replied to him and walked out of the pub as fast as I could. I got halfway home when I heard someone walking behind me. The same lad as before. Fuck! I began to walk faster. He picked up his pace to match mine. He was definitely trying to overtake me. I began sprinting, the man ran after me. Okay, he is really freaking me out now. I quickly turned into an alleyway, resting my back against the cold, brick surface of the building. He's gone. I thought, relief flooded my body but was shortly replaced with fear once again when he pinned me against the hard concrete floor. I started to panic, my breathing picked up some pace and I started to frantically scream. He sat on my waist, crushing my arms and restricting my movement.

"GET OFF OF ME, PLEASE?!!! YOU'RE SICK MAN!!"

"Shut it! Fucking slut!!! Now be quiet, you wouldn't want anyone to hear us would you?" he spoke harshly, each word degrading me. I felt worthless. Shame filled my body and I gave in.

TW-SEXUAL ASSULT

He pulled my jeans down mid-thigh and starting groping my breasts. I felt sick to my stomach. I guess I deserved this. He never spoke a word, just unbutton his pants and entered me. I am a virgin. I wanted to wait for the right person and now that was all thrown away. Warm, salty tears started to stream down my face, coating my cheeks as he fucked me in the middle of a dark alleyway at god knows what time in the morning. I was scared, I feared my life like I never have before. I just want it to stop. He came in me, not even asking. Well what was I expecting? He's obviously not a consensual person. I felt vulnerable for the first time. I was a tough girl and now I was weak, helplessly crying out for this to stop. I guess this is what I get.

"Stand up! " He demanded. I was too stunned from the past events to move.

"I SAID FUCKING STAND UP YOU WORTHLESS WHORE!!" He spat.

"s-sorry," I sobbed out. His fist made contact with my face, my eye started pulsing.

"DID I SAY YOU COULD FUCKING SPEAK???!!!" He screamed in my face. For a small guy compared to my height of 5'9, he was fucking intimidating. I shook my head and fear. He shoved me back to the ground and kicked my ribs. I guess this is my life now, getting fucking abused by strangers on the street. What a life. He left the alley and I just sat there, a mix of tears and blood running down my face. I'm a fucking disappointment. A waste of space.

TW OVER

I finally gained the strength to stand up and walk the remaining distance to the hotel, hoping nothing else would happen. I finally made it back, immediately crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep. I couldn't take this anymore. I'm at the edge of the fucking world and I'm ready to take my leap of faith.

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A/N Heyy guyss, Ace here, extra long chapter for you lot <3 hope you enjoyed!!