Your Crazy (But I Still Love You)

This Some Bullshit

~

"Well ain't that some bull..." I said to myself with a sigh as I watched 'Sasha' wail as she had to run for SIX hours straight.

"Wow. Forced to run for fix hours straight and STILL don't know where babies come from." Eren said alongside me.

"Maybe I can teach her." Connie spoke. I gave him a side eye.

"Teach her what? That dicks can come in a micro size?" I rolled my eyes at him as he gave me a glare.

"Bro shut your ass up who is talking to you?"

"Nigga I don't need permission to speak. I speak whenever the fuck I want to." I spat.

"Connie, everybody knows that she would just laugh at your tiny balls." Eren added. He ain't lying though, it's true.

"Small potatoes make the meat look bigger!" Connie argued.

"Not for your case it doesn't." I said. Connie was about to say something smart back at me when Eren pointed out the failure wagon. Basically a wagon that carries all the failures who didn't even make it through their first day of training back to where they came from.

"Hah! If they couldn't make it through one day, how are they gonna handle titans?" Eren said. "Hell, me, Armin, and Y/n already did that." Eren spoke as he placed his hands on me and Armin's shoulders. I let out a small sigh as I placed my hand on Eren's hand that was laid on my shoulder.

"Eren, you saw titans?" Connie asked with shock in his tone.

"Well, yeah, it's not really something I like talking—"

"Eren, you've seen titans?" 'Mina' questioned a she turned to us. "That's SO hot." What the hell was she even saying? She looks like Dorothy except with a homeless looking attire and black hair.

"Actually, yeah, I totally saw a ton of them too. I almost killed one too." When I tell you that my eyes looked at him as if he lost his damn mind, it's the truth. Cause why was his little ass lying about killing a titan? His mama got killed by a titan but that's what she gets for sucking on ginger dick. But I don't even remember a single bit of him almost killing a titan with bus weak ass. That shit doesn't even happen in til in later episodes. Bitch over here lying tryna cover up the fact that his mama was playing "Monkey in the Middle" with dicks💀🙏 Now I gotta listen to him rant about it all night knowing that his bitch ass is lying.

~

I was sitting at a table between Armin and Mikasa and picking at my food (if it was even edible) with an expression of boredom. Even though I was hungry, the food still didn't make me crave for it considering the fact that it looked regurgitated—something that old people who didn't have no teeth would eat. It also didn't help that I had to listen to Eren's bullshit.

"And that's how I murder twenty titans with nothing but my wits, a paper clip and saran wrap." Eren said with a serious expression on his face. First, last time you said that you ALMOST killed A titan—not titanSSSS...of course he wouldn't know the difference with his stupid ass. Second, what wits? Third, you cannot afford a paperclip and saran wrap you were over here coming to my house for sugar every week, asking for milk, asking for eggs, asking for everything so I don't wanna hear none of that bullshit.

The small crowd of people all looked at Eren in awe at his words. Were they really falling for this shit? If the bitch really did kill twenty titans then why is he here then? Should he be somewhere else? That's when a certain question made me side eye Eren. Someone had asked what his mother's final words were. Why would he even tell anyone that his mom had died knowing that she literally screamed from the top of her lungs, "MY LAST ORAL" like it was some sort of prayer. Like hell nah.