Ambivalence

Agonizing

As the weight of disappointment settled over me, I excused myself from the crowd and made my way to the washroom, seeking solace in the temporary refuge it offered.

As I navigated the empty corridors, a sense of unease crept over me, amplified by the eerie silence that enveloped the school. The faint echo of my footsteps seemed to reverberate off the walls, heightening my awareness of the empty spaces around me.

Despite my growing apprehension, I pressed on, determined to reach the washroom and alleviate my discomfort. But as I neared my destination, a sudden darkness descended, plunging the hallway into obscurity.

Frustration mingled with apprehension as I fumbled for my phone, cursing the timing of the blackout. With trembling hands, I activated the flashlight, its feeble beam offering me little comfort in the enveloping darkness.

Before I could fully comprehend the situation, a strong grip seized my elbow, wrenching me backward with unexpected force. My phone slipped from my grasp, clattering to the ground as I was forcibly silenced, a rough hand covering my mouth and stifling my startled cries.

My heart pounded against my ribcage as panic surged through me, rendering me momentarily paralyzed. Unable to see my assailant's face in the pitch-black surroundings, I could only grasp at fragmented details—a faint smell of alcohol, the rough texture of their palm against my skin—as fear tightened its grip on my senses.

As the piercing pain seared through my neck, a wave of nausea and dizziness washed over me, clouding my thoughts and leaving me disoriented. Desperate to defend myself, I summoned the last reserves of my strength, mustering a swift kick aimed at my assailant's vulnerable spot.

The impact of my blow elicited a pained groan from my attacker, followed by the sound of their body hitting the ground with a dull thud. Despite the momentary satisfaction of incapacitating them, my victory was short-lived as the effects of the drug began to take hold, muddling my senses and sending my mind spiraling into darkness.

With each passing moment, the world around me seemed to blur and distort, the edges of my vision fading into obscurity as consciousness slipped further from my grasp.

The darkness closed in around me, a suffocating blanket that sent shivers down my spine as I recognized the voice echoing through the void.

"I've been waiting for this moment," his voice, laced with malice, sliced through the silence like a knife.

Fear clenched at my heart as his presence drew nearer, his touch sending icy tendrils of dread coursing through my veins.

"That fucker tried to keep me from you," his words, dripping with contempt, filled me with revulsion, the sensation of his fingers tracing along my neck leaving me feeling violated and helpless.

His touch felt like a creeping insect, leaving a trail of revulsion in its wake. In the suffocating darkness, every caress intensified my fear, sending shivers down my spine.

Despite my desperate attempts to fight him off, I felt powerless against his strength. In those agonizing moments, time stretched into an eternity, each passing second laden with fear and despair. Just when I thought I couldn't endure another moment, a rush of cool air enveloped me, bringing with it a sense of relief and safety. Though I couldn't see anything in the darkness, I could sense the presence of someone nearby, a silent guardian offering solace in the void. And then, as if engulfed by a merciless abyss, everything faded to black.

As I gradually regained consciousness, I found myself in my hostel room, draped in an oversized jacket with nothing beneath. The fabric felt oddly familiar, triggering memories of the events from the previous night.

My gaze scanned the room, searching for any signs of what had transpired. Dhriti lay peacefully on her bed, her rhythmic breathing a comforting backdrop to the chaos that swirled in my mind.

But try as I might, I couldn't piece together the fragments of memory from that fateful night. The details remained obscured, shrouded in a haze of confusion and fear. All I knew was that I had been saved, yet the identity of my rescuers remained elusive, their faces lost in the shadows of my fractured recollection.

The incident weighed heavy on my mind, yet as days passed, it seemed as though life had resumed its normal course. Neither Dhriti nor anyone else in the college seemed to be aware of what had transpired that night.

It was a strange relief, knowing that the incident hadn't become fodder for gossip or pitying glances. I silently thanked whatever forces had conspired to keep my ordeal hidden, sparing me the burden of others' sympathy or judgment.

As I delved deeper into my studies, I found solace in the pursuit of my business project. It became a beacon of hope, a tangible reminder that despite the darkness that had threatened to engulf me, there was still light to be found in my aspirations and ambitions.

In a twist of fate, I crossed paths with Arthur, never suspecting that he was none other than Sharvansh himself. The revelation sent shockwaves through my core, unraveling the carefully constructed walls I had built around my heart.

There were moments when I couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity with Arthur, but the truth was, I didn't know him well enough to be certain. Our interactions were mostly limited to the professional sphere, where I often witnessed his brusque and sometimes rude demeanor.

As he stood before me, making our wedding announcement to the world, the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place with a resounding clarity. The man I had once admired from afar, the one whose gaze had stirred emotions within me, was now poised to become an integral part of my life in a way I had never imagined.

The weight of his identity bore down on me, a heavy burden mingled with a sense of disbelief and apprehension. How could the man who had haunted my thoughts, the one I had tried so desperately to forget, now stand before me as my husband?