Ambivalence

Unwanted Desires

Sharvansh's POV

As we reached the temple, the priest instructed the married couples to bathe in the holy water and then offer it to the sun god, Suryadev. My parents were hesitant to go deep into the water, so they stayed near the shore. The other family members, including Aaradhya, got into the kund. The sights and sounds were familiar. The rituals were deeply ingrained in my memory. But as I glanced at Aaradhya, her eyes were wide with wonder and fascination. She followed the instructions of the priest, taking three dips in the water and offering the holy water to the sun god. Her clothes clung to her body, and she looked ethereal, her natural beauty enhanced by the glistening water.

As she turned away, heading towards the temple, I took off my overcoat, my eyes not leaving her for a moment. Her innocence, her vulnerability, and the strength she carried within fascinated me. She had a quiet charm that I couldn't ignore.

I couldn't resist any longer. I needed to be close to her, to feel her presence next to me. With quick strides, I approached her just as she had an encounter with Rajveer. The way he was holding her infuriated me, and my eyes bore into him as a silent warning. I wrapped my arm around her waist, ensuring she wouldn't feel uncomfortable anymore. 

"Chaliye, der ho rahi hai," I said, my voice laced with a hint of authority, while my grip around her waist remained firm, ensuring she understood that I was here, always.

(Let's go, it's getting late,)

I watched as Aaradhya shivered from the cold and dampness of the temple. She'd gotten drenched during the rituals, and I couldn't help but feel responsible for her discomfort, even though I hadn't anticipated the weather conditions. She was now sneezing intermittently.

'Sneeze'

'Sneeze'

"Sorry," she mumbled, her voice carrying a hint of embarrassment.

I observed her, feeling a mix of emotions I couldn't fully understand. There was a part of me that wanted to scold her for being careless, but another part, a more reluctant part, wanted to shield her from the cold. It was an internal struggle I wasn't used to experiencing.

'Sneeze'

'Sneeze'

"Hey Matarani." She mumbled.

I retrived my overcoat and wrapped it around Aaradhya, ignoring her protests. She was soaked, and her drenched attire was hardly suitable for the cool weather. It wasn't just a matter of her discomfort; it was a matter of the fact that I didn't wanted her to feel any kind pain. 

"Mai toh bhalu jaise dikh rahi hu isme," she mumbled, voicing her feelings.

(I must look like a bear in this,)

I couldn't help but chuckle, surprised by her candidness. She was calling herself a bear, well she looked kind of cute in my coat which looked almost double to her size. And I couldn't help but but adore that cute expression on her face, puffed cheeks, looking down while I buttoned the coat, looking like a child. For a moment, her warmth and humor were like a breath of fresh air in my otherwise structured and stoic world. It was a fleeting moment, and I couldn't let it linger, but that smile she'd given me, however brief, was etched in my mind.

 As we made our way back to the haveli, I noticed Aaradhya's voice, soft and considerate, breaking the silence.

"Aapko thand nahi lag rahi?" she asked, concern in her eyes. I contemplated for a moment. The cold had penetrated my senses, but I couldn't let it show.

(Don't you feel cold?)

"Nahi," I replied stoically, unwilling to admit vulnerability. She nodded understandingly and turned her gaze towards the window, probably respecting my choice to keep quiet.