Forbidden Love (boyxboy)

Nightmares

"Joshua!" I wake, crying out his name. My hands grip the sheets around me so tightly that my knuckles turn white. I let out short, ragged gasps and shiver as I feel sweat trickle down my back.

I look at the small, silver clock that sits next to my bed. 4:52. I could get three more hours of seep if I wanted to, but I won't. I can't. Not after having that nightmare again.

Shortly after Josh's death, I was admitted into therapy. It helped at first, but then the nightmares started. I would dream of his death over and over again until I would wake up screaming. My parents would rush to comfort me. They would whisper in my ear that it was over. It was just a memory and it was over.

Therapy did little to help the nightmares. However, as time went on, the nightmares became less frequent. Instead of once a day, it became once a week, then once a month and so on. This is the first time I've had the nightmare in four months.

Maybe it's because my senior year just started. School reminds me of Josh; it's where we met. Where we fell in love.

I shake my head to clear it. That's enough. I chide myself. He's gone now.

I push myself off my bed and pad down the hallway to my parents' room. The door is slightly ajar and I lean forward to peer into the bedroom.

I hear a faint snore coming from my father. His body is encircled around my mother's; the rythmic rise and fall of their chests ensure me that they're still asleep. Good. I don't want them to worry.

I creep down the stairs and freeze when I see movement by the couch. My heart rate quickens and I try my hardest to stay calm. I slowly continue down the stairs and grab the vase by the end of the staircase.

"Woah, woah, woah! Hey, I have a great idea! How about we just stay calm, and you put the vase down?" A familiar voice says.

I let out a relieved sigh and then immediately follow with a frustrated groan.

"Uhh, you're gonna have to repeat that for me."

I stomp over to the front door and flip on the light. I turn to see my best friend, Rose, standing by the couch with a grin on her face.

"What the hell, Rose?" Her smile widens and I have a hard time keeping the stern look on my face. I give up and smile back.

"Ha!" She laughs. "You can't stay mad at me," she smirks, walking over and patting me on the cheek. I ruffle her thick, black hair in response and laugh as she fake scowls at me.

"What are you doing here so early?" I ask, walking over to the counter and starting the coffee maker. "And haven't you ever heard of knocking?" I tease.

"It's the first day of our senior year!" Rose exclaims. "Sleep doesn't come easy when you're this excited," she says, pointing at herself. "And I would've knocked, but I figured you and your parents were still asleep." Suddenly, she looks quizzical. "Why are you up so early?"

I turn around and face the coffee maker. Rose knows how to read people too well. If you're lying, no matter how good you are at it, she'll still know.

"Oh, you know, just nervous about our first day back as seniors," I mumble, my voice lower an octave than usual. I turn to face her.

"You suck at lying, Nathan." Rose says bluntly. She pauses, her eyebrows furrowing with concern. "You had the nightmare again, didn't you?" She asks quietly.

"Yeah," I mutter, my voice betraying the pain I felt.

Rose grabs my arm and leads me over to couch. She sits down, pulling me down next to her. "Tell me," she says.

"It was the same as all the others. He died," I say, refusing to elaborate on the details; she already knew them anyway.

Rose looks at me sadly. She changes the subject. "So, as usual, there's going to be new students this year; and," she pauses for effect, "most of them are going to be boys." She winks at me.

I let out an awkward chuckle and look away.

"Hey," Rose murmurs, touching me lightly on the shoulder. I look back at her. It's been two and a half years, Nathan," she says gently. "I . . . I think it's time to move on. Give someone else a chance to love you."

I open my mouth and then close it because I have nothing to say. I don't know what to say to that. The idea scares me. Moving on terrifies me. It feels like I'll forget Josh.

Like usual, Rose can interpret my thoughts just from looking at me. "I think Josh would want you to move on. I think he'd be happy for you." She says quietly.

I faint sigh escapes My lips. "Okay," I murmur. "I'll try to . . . to move on." It felt weird saying that.

Rose looks at me, her chocolate colored eyes glowing with content. "Good," she says happily, breaking the solemn atmosphere. She pats my leg and stands up. "Right, so, you go take a shower and get ready," she orders, "and I'll make breakfast."

"Okay, mother." I tease. She lets out an instulted huff and pushes me towards the bathroom.

"Take a shower, you stink." She retorts lightly, her eyes glimmering with amusement.

I laugh and shut the door behind me. I stare at myself in the mirror. I've been broken. But I'm all whole and healed and put back together now, aren't I? Maybe Rose is right. Maybe it's time to move on.

Finally! After a whole year of being on hold, I can start updating again thanks to summer break :) I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll try to update again soon! :)