Be Our Guest

Invite Him to Breakfast!

A/N: Aziraphale when being kidnapped by a mythical beast isn't as sexy in real life😦😟

Aziraphale heard what seemed to be large, old doors creak open as they entered some sort of building. It was hard to see much in the dark, but he could make out a garden before the doors slammed shut. Slowly he lifted his head, taking in whatever he could from this angle. He didn't have much time to though, as he was abruptly (but gently) placed back down to earth.

He stumbled backward, his legs feeling wobbly. He put a hand to his head realizing how dizzy he was. Fear rose in his throat as he fully took in the being before him. The man...snake, was unmoving and unimpressed watching Aziraphale stammer.

"You're– You're a snake...man?" Aziraphale finally stuttered between nervous breaths.

"An observant one, are you?" The creature replied, sarcastically.

Aziraphale was too conflicted to be offended, too bewildered to care, "Why did– what will you do with me? Why did you save me from– from," The snake frowned at that. "I didn't save you."

"Then what–" He heaved a few more shuddering breaths, a sad attempt to calm his jumpy nerves, "Then what are you going to... do with me? What do you want? What did the other...snake people want?"

The beast looked at Aziraphale as if he wasn't listening, "Where are the books?" He asked blankly.

Aziraphale came to a stop mid-ramble, looking at the other dumbfounded, "The–The books?" He gasped, "After... whatever just happened, you worry of– of the books!?"

It was too late that Aziraphale realized it probably wasn't in his best wishes to yell at the beast. The creatures eyebrows raised ever so slightly as if surprised, and he picked at a tooth with a sharp claw, "Yeah."

Aziraphale didn't know what to say, was this another one of his weird dreams? He shook his head and immediately regretted it as a nauseating feeling swept him. He covered his face, and very slowly peaked through his fingers, disappointed to see the beast still there, looking at him confused.

"Where are they. I paid good money for them." the snake insisted. Why do snake people have money? He wondered absentmindedly.

Despite the man being a very possible threat, Aziraphale couldn't help the snappy reply escaping his mouth.

"Do you truly believe, that I could have possibly managed to hold onto those... those ridiculous books of yours, after whatever the hell just happened?" he crossed his arms.

Again the creature raised a brow, his cold expression faltered at the quirk of his mouth but quickly recovered.

"Well, if you're so incapable that you cannot hold onto a few ridiculous books, maybe–"

"Incapable!" Aziraphale gasped, astonished. He shook his head, "This– all of This is just preposterous!" He huffed.

"The snake part or–"

"And how on earth will I get home? I have no horse– and those... those creatures are still out there– and oh dear," Aziraphale rambled nervously, practically ignoring the beast.

"You're not going anywhere." The beast said callously.

Aziraphale turned to him, wide-eyed, "What?"

The beast began slithering toward Aziraphale, and in that moment, as the beast towered over him, he realized the gravity of his situation.

The snake took him by the arm in a vice-like grip, "You are not to leave this place," He repeated, as he dragged the blonde up olden stairs. " ever ."