Miracles on Miracles

Chapter 9

"I got here as soon as I could," Nurse Julia said as she threw her bag on an empty chair and ran to Ito's room. "Your message said you thought he was struggling to breathe."

"No, my message said that he was drowning in his own spit!" Carmen clarified emphatically.

"Everything seems to be okay," she said, leaning down to listen to his breathing.

"How is it okay?!" Carmen practically screamed. "Don't you hear that horrifying noise coming from him?"

"Yes, well, he does have some terminal secretions, but that's normal. I can suction them out if you prefer," Nurse Julia replied. "But it's all just a part of the process. I know that noise can upset families a lot," she empathized. "It's colloquially known as 'the death rattle'," she said calmly, "but it's really just that his muscles are so relaxed that he isn't swallowing as much as before." She smiled at Carmen, which really only annoyed her more because she felt that Nurse Julia was not appreciating the gravity of the situation. "You'll notice that his mouth is open all the time now," Nurse Julia spoke again. "Again, his muscles are too relaxed to hold it closed. It takes a lot of muscles to close your mouth," she added with another infuriating smile.

Carmen walked out of the room without saying another word. On her way to the kitchen, she ran into her grandma.

"¿Qué tienes?" she asked her exasperated granddaughter.

"I just think that Nurse Julia isn't even trying to save him," she whispered.

"I can't imagine why I'd want her to," Ita replied.

"How can you say that? You've been with him for over 50 years."

"Exactly," she replied. "I've been beside him for everything he's faced in life. And I'm going to be with him now, supporting his last journey," she said.

"I don't know, Ita. I'm just not there yet," Carmen admitted.

Just as she finished speaking, Nurse Julia came out of the bedroom. "So, I want you to prepare yourselves," she began. "I believe he's got about 24 hours left," she said honestly.

"How can you say that so calmly?" Carmen reproached the older woman.

Nurse Julia rested her hand on Carmen's shoulder. "Honey, our bodies know how to live, and they know how to die," she said sagely. "We're built for this," she added.

Carmen went to her bedroom and closed the door. She needed a little time with this information. On a whim, she decided to try to call Yunho. To her surprise, he picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, stranger," he said. "I've missed you."

"Yeah, me too," Carmen said.

"How are things going?" Yunho asked.

Carmen sighed heavily into the phone.

"That bad, huh?" he replied.

"Yeah, the nurse seems to think it's going to happen some time today," she told him defeatedly.

"Oh, man, that's really rough," he said with empathy. "I wish I could be there with you," he assured her.

"Yeah, me too," she admitted. "I don't think I'm up for this right now."

"I don't imagine anyone ever is," Yunho replied.

Carmen heard a soft knock on the door. "I'd better go. They're calling me," she told him.

"Okay, go. They need you," he answered. "Hey, you're my one and only," he assured her as they hang up.

Carmen set down her phone and walked into her grandpa's room where Aracely and Ita were already gathered with Nurse Julia. Aracely had Carmen's dad on FaceTime. Carmen waved at him on the screen but did not speak. The room was silent except for Ito's labored breathing. She went to his bedside and took his hand. "Te quiero, Ito," she assured him of her love. She thought she might have felt the slightest tightening of his hand around hers.

Ita crawled into bed beside her lifetime lover and stroked his head lovingly. Aracely took up a spot at the foot of the bed and rubbed his legs gently with one hand as she held the phone in the other.

"Is there any music you would like to play for him?" Nurse Julia asked.

"Carmencita, sing Ave María for him," Aracely requested. "I remember one time I was with him in his old truck, and someone was singing Ave María on the radio. He pulled over and put his hand on his heart, and just sat there and cried," Aracely remembered.

Carmen took a deep breath. She had to find a way to pull herself together so she could sing for her grandpa.

Ave María, gratia plena. María, gratia plena. María, gratia plena. Ave, ave dominus. Dominus tecum," she sang with a pure, clear voice, despite her sadness. Benedicta tu in mulieribus. Et benedictus," she continued. This time, she felt him squeeze her hand a bit harder. At that point, her singing ended as she sobbed openly.

When she let go of his hand so that she could wipe her face, he stretched his arms up above his body. It was somewhat shocking as he had been immobile for the last few days, but yet, there they were, his arms stretched up high over his chest.

"He's reaching," Nurse Julia explained in a whisper. "It won't be long now," she assured them.

"What's he reaching for?" Carmen asked.

"We're not quite sure what they are seeing when they reach up like that, but it's a very common thing for people to do as they are dying. Perhaps he sees a loved one on the other side," she opined. "Perhaps it would do him good to hear you say that you are releasing him. He may be holding on because he senses you aren't ready," Nurse Julia conjectured.

Carmen swallowed the lump in her throat and leaned down to whisper in her grandpa's ear. "Ya te puedes ir, Ito. Vete con tu gente a la Barranca de Cobre," she told him, indicating that he should join his people at the Copper Canyon.

With that, he sat up and opened his eyes wide for the first time in days. "Mamá," he croaked from his dry throat before falling back onto his pillow again and breathing his last. There was a silent stillness in the room. Everyone knew it was over, but no one spoke. It felt like how in church, you never talked over the prayer. It was a holy moment as sunlight streamed through the window making the dust in the air glitter like sparkling stars. Carmen could hear her own breathing in her ears now that Ito's labored breathing had finally ceased. For some reason, Carmen, who had spent the last few days crying, no longer had any desire to cry. She felt peaceful inside as if the veil between Heaven and Earth had become incredibly thin and she had been given a rare peek into the afterlife. She wasn't sure what her ito was experiencing right now, but she had seen that he was not afraid to go toward that new life. He had reached for it. He had seen his mother waiting for him. He had no fear in the end. She knew that wherever he was, he was at peace.

"Godspeed to you," Nurse Julia whispered.

"Amen," echoed the others in the room.

Always the officious one, Aracely said, "Well, I guess we should call the funeral director so he can come and ---." She suddenly stopped speaking as she leaned over in pain. "Se me rompió la fuente," she said calmly as she stared down at the puddle forming at her feet.