𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞✔️

15

his natural afro was tucked into the hoodie but i noticed his eyes looked red and puffy,"you've been crying?" i asked quietly.

instead of answering he mugged me,"you been smoking?" he questioned back and i shook my head no.

"so why...yo eyes low as hell?" he asked.

"poppin pills..." manman horribly covered with a cough.

i smacked my lips and glared at him,"i can fuckin speak." i said then looked back to kamari who was shaking his head.

"that shit gonna kill yo dumbass, have you even been sleeping?" he asked his fingers rubbing underneath my eyes.

"lil bit..." i mumbled grabbing his waist and pulled him closer to me.

but he stepped back making me frown.

"you just got out the hospital and you not even properly taking care of yo self." he spat and my head slightly jerked back at his tone.

"yeah we gonna...excuse us.." chico said getting up and the rest of the guys followed him.

"you need to actually let your body rest...not fill it with fuckin percs and lean and you ain't even properly taking care of yoself.." he said and i noticed his eyes watering.

"and you haven't even been talking to me masani." he grumbled crossing his arms.

i ran a hand over my face before sitting down and grabbed his hand to pull him between my legs.

"i'm sorry li daddy— i'm just tryna get yo weird ass friend and that nigga she working wit...i can't rest until them niggas in my grasp man." i explained and he rolled his eyes looking away from me.

"one she ain't my fuckin friend anymore, i already damn near lost you and you not even getting yourself back all the way right before jumping to find them. i understand this is what you do but you gotta at least make sure your body has the proper care for all of it." he said and quickly wiped the tears before they could fall down they face.

"and on top of that you fuckin shutting me out when i've let you in masani."

"that's not what i was doing...i'm trying not to pull you into all this shit- if it ever come a day shit comes back to me i don't want nun involving you. i refuse for my shit to ever come and harm you....that's why i barely bring you around here now." i said shaking my head and he frowned.

"i get that...but those pills?? you need to let that shit go...i don't see you drinking lean a lot but that don't needa become a regular." he said looking over at the double cup on the table.

"i'll pour it out...and the percs? man i've been on them since i was 15...i don't take them as much as i use to. i have chilled out on em but these last few days i've been so stressed wit this shit.." i said.

"okay how about this...you go home? just so you can get some rest. yo ass look like you finna pass out." he said and then my stomach growled.

"when the last time you ate?" he asked glaring at me.

❈ ❈ ❈

"i swear i'll give you the sloppiest head after this..." i said with a mouthful of food.

"masani shut up and finish eating..." kamari said as he placed the pan into the sink.

i don't know what the hell i did to get somebody to actually care so much for my well being.

my own mother didn't even care enough...

i shook the thoughts from my head and finished eating, he ended up making us bacon cheeseburgers and teriyaki wings with waffle fries.

to say i was fuckin this shit up was an understatement, i was devouring this shit.

i didn't really have anything on my stomach and i knew for sure i was going to sleep after this.

if he laid down with me.

i could tell he was still upset with me and i couldn't blame him, i got so caught up in other shit i forgot to also check up on him.

"umm...li daddy.."

ignored.

"mmcht kamari come on." i said getting up with my now empty plate.

i stood behind him and placed my plate in the sink,"get away from me slut bag..." he grumbled.

i couldn't help but laugh at the name, i pulled down his hoodie and gently placed a few kisses on his neck.

i heard his breathing pattern change when i pressed myself against his ass,"i'm sorry, okay? i messed up i let this shit get in my head and forget about everything around me.." i said wrapping my arms around his waist.

he hummed in response before speaking,"move back from me."

i sighed and stepped back, i watched him drain the sinks then grabbed a paper towel to dry his hands.

"you needa go to sleep..." he mumbled.

i took a shower when i first came home so now sleep really was the last thing.

"you gonna lay down wit me??" i asked twisting my loc around my finger.

"no i'm finna go home." he said and i'm not gonna lie.

that sentence made my stomach hurt.

"baby boy, please." i said grabbing his arm and i heard him hiss making me quickly let go.

i furrowed my eyebrows as he avoided eye contact with me.

"kamari." i said in a serious tone.

he ignored me grabbing his phone,"oren bro, bring yo ass here." i called his middle name making him stop walking.

"masani just—"

"now kamari im not fuckin askin."

i noticed his body start to shake and i quickly walked over to him,"am i gonna find what i think imma find?" i asked lowly.

he still kept his face to the ground but i saw the tears down his face,"fuckin hell— kamari why didn't you—"

"i tried! you weren't answering the phone." he said through tears.

"c'mere....im sorry baby, i promise i am. i told you, you could always call me and i wasn't there when you needed me most." i said pulling him into a hug.

i could hear him taking deep breaths in an attempt to not cry but it quickly failed.

"you- you can't blame yourself masani..." he said between sobs and gripped my wife beater in his hands.

i grabbed the back of his thighs and lifted him up to wrap his legs around me.

i walked us to the bathroom and helped him out his hoodie, my eyes fell to his wrist area but the cuts were above his wrists.

i felt my heart drop looking at the scattered cuts over his arms. they looked a few days old.

"i'm sorry..." he said quietly looking down.

"don't apologize baby." i said grabbing his chin making him look at me.

i kissed his lips a few times before grabbing ointment and bandages to put on his arms for now.

once i was done i carefully kissed over his now bandaged arm,"can i-i stay and sleep with you?" he asked and i nodded.

"of course, i wasn't letting you go home either way....you know i can't sleep long without yo ass." i said as he stared at me.

i kissed him again before taking us to my bedroom, i let him get comfortable in bed first then i took off my wife beater.

i laid down beside him and immediately invaded his personal space making him laugh quietly, i smiled hearing his laugh.

i tucked my head into the crook of his neck and let sleep take over while i rubbed his back.