The Dark Lady (Severus x OC)

15. Mixed feelings

They had only spent a few days together, but that changed everything. Now the letters followed one another more frequently, and their content was neither short nor disappointing.

Win traveled all the time, crossing to the other side of the world, trying to be discreet and silent, while delivering the messages that were so eagerly awaited.

Hellen had completely fallen in love. She felt happy at all hours, and a renewed energy filled her chest and gave a new rhythm to her steps.

She couldn't help it, she loved him. She didn't know how or why she had developed those feelings, but she didn't want to feel any other way either.

Win had assured her that she was not under the influence of any spell or potion, but that also didn't explain the sudden appearance and strength of her emotions. After all, she barely knew him. She didn't know how much she could trust him.

But every time she remembered the days they had spent together she smiled like a fool, and when she received a letter from him, her chest burst with happiness. She had never felt anything like that for anyone, but she didn't want it to stop. His name and his memory filled her mind and heart.

For his part, Severus was also baffled. He didn't understand what had happened to him. Why had he been so worried after reading her letter? Why had he gone to see her? Why had he stayed at her house, wishing time wouldn't pass so quickly? Why was he planning how to see her again? Why did letters never seem enough?

Since he had returned from Hawaii, the image of Hellen filled all his thoughts and caused him immense happiness. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her eyes and her smile, and he could remember her salty smell as if his nose was still buried in her neck.

It was very difficult for him to hide that feeling of euphoria in front of his students and the other teachers, and even Dumbledore had joked about his sudden good mood.

But how deep and real were those new feelings? He couldn't deny the physical attraction he felt towards Hellen, but was there something more?

Unable to contain his curiosity, he had invoked his Patronus to resolve his doubts. To his bewilderment, the silver doe continued to run gracefully around him, without having changed any of her features.

Which was the meaning of that? Did Lily and Hellen mean the same thing to him? Was it possible to love two different people that way? Or perhaps the doe simply represented him?

His questions had no easy answers, and he had no one to share his dilemma with. Of course, he was not going to tell anyone about Hellen, not even Dumbledore, because he was afraid that someone would discover her true identity and hurt her. The thought that something bad could happen to her caused a painful queasiness in the pit of his stomach.

For now, perhaps he should enjoy that feeling, however fleeting, and stop wondering why fate had granted him this opportunity.

They continued to write to each other throughout the year, and when summer came, Severus again crossed half the world to see her. This time he didn't need to rent a room.

The summer months passed without them realizing it, and the first moment in which their happiness was tarnished was when they were forced to say goodbye.

This time, the distance became harder, and the letters failed to fill the emptiness they felt. Unfortunately for them, they had fallen in love with a person who lived on the other side of the world.

But they still persevered. They wouldn't let something as trivial as distance separate them.

***