landlost | ONC 2024

five.

Ham was the first to move; tossing dirt over an abandoned torch to snuff out the flames, then going to comfort his mother, who had crouched down with her head in her hands. Japheth scooped up Ada and cradled her into his chest. Noah stood frozen, as still as the statues my mother used to pray to.

"I've got her," Shem said, gently lifting Sedeqet from my lap. I hadn't even seen him approach, my eyes were so glassy with the after-image of the flash stained into my vision.

I let him carry Sedeqet away, knowing he would probably do a better job at comforting her than I. I stood up shakily, and looked at the sky.

Blue. Calm once more.

"Japheth, I'm alright," I heard Ada say as they approached me. "You can let me walk."

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again," Japheth's face was still locked into a snarl, only easing as he kissed her russet-coloured hair. He didn't even acknowledge me as he passed, and I felt myself shrink into the shadows.

What had I done to try and help them? These people who treated me like family already? Ada and Sedeqet could've been killed, or .... A lump lodged in my throat. And I had just stood by and watched.

Ham held Emzara steady as they, too, passed me, heading back to the camp. "Are you alright?" I asked him.

If he responded, I didn't hear it.

I turned back to look at Noah, whose head had lowered to examine the burn mark that had been left in the soil. The only evidence remaining behind that anything bad had happened here, besides some trampled grain.

I walked forward to stand beside him. The silence between us didn't feel awkward like between me and Shem, or disdainful like me and Emzara, or scrutinising like Ham and I. I rubbed my arm, trying to relieve the sensation of prickling.

"Who were those men?" I asked. My voice sounded small and child-like, my vocal cords frayed by fear.

Noah stirred himself out of his stupor and straightened his back. He was taller than me, but not by a considerable amount, like with Japheth and Shem. "They must have come from the nearest town. Sometimes people's curiosity gets the best of them. But it's better if they just contend themselves with their imaginations."

My cheeks burned. "But why did they seem so ... So ...?" Evil, just for the sake of it?

I knew from my father's business deals —— as feather-brained and as false as they were —— that everyone operated with a goal in mind, no matter how stupid it was. But what goal had those men had in mind? To terrify? To mock? Was there nothing else?

"It's the way of things, Na'el," Noah murmured resignedly. "People have become tormented. And tormented men always, always, try to snuff out any goodness they can see, but can't attain."

He turned to face me. "It's why Elohim will always protect us. Because we protect the good things." He nodded to the camp. "Shem, Japheth, Emzara, all of them. They're the good things." All of a sudden, in the waning afternoon light, he looked incredibly old. "It's my duty to look after you all, and Elohim will ensure that I do."

My forehead tensed. I looked at the hole in the ground again. "Was that Elohim?"

"Yes." Noah looked at the sky, his frown easing a little. "Lightning, and thunder, for the first time in history."

He began to walk back to the camp, but I felt locked into the soil, feeling deeply, deeply aware that, if lightning were to strike again, I could be struck down.

"And wasn't it beautiful?" he called over his shoulder at me.

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My dreams that night were wracked with booming roars and twin moons that shot lightning bolts down to set the forest alight with blue fire.

I even reckoned I could smell that mixture of sweat and wood chips.

Light was streaming in between the gaps of the pelts when I woke up. Noah and Emzara had already left the tent, and I rolled over and threw my arm over my face. My neck touched something hard and cold.

I twisted, and cradled the figurine in my hands, breathing in the scent of dirty clay. I was sure I could even smell the dried plums that were Naamah's favourite snack.

She'd created a figurine of me. I marvelled at her work. She had twisted twin plaits together to run over the tiny person's chest. I had a child's drawing of a smile engraved onto my face. At the base of the figurine's feet, where I could stand her upright —— although she leaned dangerously —— was small lettering.

N and N

My eyes felt hot in my skull, and for the first time since I'd arrived at Noah's camp, I finally let myself cry.