My School Be Zesty

Chapter 1- why is my life like this

But Keys, being an attention seeker AND an idiot, decided that now was the good time to tell Miss Fesuoy that it was Shaytan's birthday. The VERY ANNOYED teacher stared at him for a while, before sighing and telling the class to start the song. Keys, of course very off key (ha see what i did there), sang like an idiot. The others joined in eventually, Yale singing the loudest. Shaytan sank into his chair, a little embarassed and very pissed at Keys. 

When the song finally ended, Miss Fesuoy tried to get on with the marking, looking though her files for the mark scheme of the homework. 

Unfortunately, Keys is a little shit.

"Miss, can some gases be turned into an oil?" Keys tried to look smart.

"Keys, we are in biology, what does that have to do with anything?" The Miss just stared at him, like she genuinely couldn't care if this man, WHO MASTURBATES TO PORN ON THE BUS, has to say. 

Brave, taking this as a cue to step in and show off, talked some bullshit. "Miss, I think he is talking about phyrophoric gases, which have to be stored in nitrogen casings because they are instantly flammable in air," he sounds like a prissy and grating monotone nepobaby. 

"Wow, Brave, but this is not relevant to the topic. MIGHT I REMIND YOU WE ARE IN BIOLOGY!" she shook her head. Brave shut up (like he fricking should).

However, Miss was interupted once more, by Mr Shan. They talked a bit, Mr Shan asking about the mocks for the year 11s. Eventually, it was time for him to leave. 

However, as he was leaving, he saw the names on the board. Miss noticed and decided to create a conversation to lighten the mood from the horrible mocks.

"You know what the best birthday gift is, Mr Shan?" Miss smiled.

"No, who's birthday is it?" Mr Shan leaned on the wall, smirking.

"Shayaan, and you know what I gifted him?" she laughed, " a detention, Sunday, first period,"

Mr Shan laughed before adding, "Could I come?" and running away, leaving the whole class awkward, confused and a little...ship-y...if you know what I mean. 

It had been 5 minutes since someone had interupted, which was honestly a world record at this point.

Unfortunately, Miss made the horrible idea of engaging the class while learning. 

"So class, can you see better with one eye or two eyes?" she asked.

Keys, deciding to rebel against the whole class and be an idiot, yelled out "one eye!".

Miss stared at him.

Brave, deciding to make an attempt to appear smart again, decided to open his stupid mouth and say this, "No, its not, because two eyes help you gain a wider plain of your surroundings to calculate the distance of the object which helps conjecture precise methodolgy for your-" 

He was about to keep going, but Aisha, absolutely sich of this failure of a man, decided she would have no more and interjected him, "First of all, none of these things relate. Your talking about prey and predator, WE are talking about calculating distance you absolute freak. Second, you spelt plain wrong. Third, you have no idea what your YAPPING about do you?" 

Everyone was shocked. Partly because Aisha was the quiet good kid and she was absolutely crushing Brave under her foot, and partly because no one knew how to correct spelling mistakes for speech. 

"Maybe, we should do an experiment!" Miss thought aloud delightfully. And so off she went to get a ball from Mr hitintheface in the maths department. 

However, some of the boys in out school were probably on bigger levels of heroin at this time, so when she came, she got to witness Shaytan, lying on the floor behind his chair with his face to the floor while Elliot stares half amused, half horrified. You could see the trauma from Shaytan in his eyes.

"Shaytan what the frick are you doing? YOU ARE SO DUMB AND YOU NEVER PAY ATTENTION! DONT YOU KNOW YOU GOT THE LOWEST IN YOUR PHYSICS TEST!!" Miss was furious. 

Eventually the whole class calmed down and got ready for the experiment. She picked three boys and girls. They would put an eye patch on one eye and try to catch the ball three times and then take the eye patch off and catch it three times. She would write the results on the board.

Of course, Keys went first. He failed the eye patch test, despite being affirmitive that he would catch it. He also happened to stick the eye patch to his book, ripping out pieces of paper in the process. Safe to say, he was an idiot.

Next was Shaytan, who caught the ball every time in swift motion. He played cricket so it was an unfair advantage.

After that, Dorian's played. One ball hit Shaytans face and the other went flying across the room due to some advanced notion of gravity but she did fairly well.

Aisha tried next, catching the ball like it was a normal tuesday for her with grace, precision and style.

They did Brave next, because aparently he doesn't count as a male anymore. It his his face. Twice.

The last was Hugh, who was known for his trash saving and throwing. He caught one for his eye patch test and then had to do his non eye patch test. He tried catching the ball, but it went on a tangent...and eventually hit Yale in the crotch.

"Are you okay!?" Hugh asked. Yale was tearing up, despite trying to look like a big man.

In the end. Miss stopped this wonderful 'experiment' and went on with the work. 

It was the end of school in no time and Hugh and Yale headed to the bathrooms before going to the hall to go to the buses.

"Hey is your crotch okay?" Hugh asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

Yale stared at him for a while, before, in one swift motion, pinning him to the walls of the bathroom. 

"Would you like to find out?" 

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Notes:

kill me lord i hate this so much