Adam's Apple Pie

Seventeen - Mummy Dearest

I always hated hospitals. Even though the technical term for this place was 'home', that was just a gentle formality to try and soften the blow. You could dress it up in all the gardens, flowery curtains and pictures of cats on the walls – but it was a hospital by just another name. And for me, hospital was just another word for 'morgue'. People didn't come here to get better; they came here to die. The very air itself was like death; stale and sanitized chemicals that did nothing to mask the bitter stench of decrepitude.

As I followed the nurse down the corridor, it was amazing how any of these residents weren't already dead. They were stuck in an eternal state of undeath, like zombies from a Horror movie, shuffling along the corridors with no sense of purpose. I saw one man (at least I think it was a man) that was sat down, a vacant expression from eyes sunk deep into his shrivelled head. His hair looked like it hadn't been cleaned in forever, I wouldn't be surprised if spiders were starting to make a home there. I heard shouting and turned my head, seeing a nurse with an aging lady; seemingly trying to stop her eating her own shit. We passed by another old bag, pointing at me and screaming wildly, shouting things like "Heretic! Satan! Betrayer!" as if she were some religious nut.

You could dress it up to make it as beautiful as you wanted, but this was hell.

A fitting place for a devil to live.

I saw another nurse with braided hair standing outside a door, next to her was a woman in a green sweater and her hair in a bun and her jacket lying across her arms. It was the first time I'd seen Julie without her expensive suits. When our eyes met, she ran over and put one arm around me. Never had I felt a more disingenuous hug in all my life.

"I'm so happy you came," she said through crocodile tears. We pulled away, wiping her face. "You have no idea what it means to me."

I nodded, faking my own smile. Poor Julie had no idea of the real reason I was here. Today was going to be the day I finally looked my mum in the eye and told her exactly how I feel. I wasn't going to pussy out, I was going to be strong.

Julie's eyebrows narrowed as she looked at me strangely, like I had shit on my face. She shook her head. "Mum's in there."

"You can go in whenever you're ready," the nurse said with a thick Nigerian accent, her hand motioning towards the door.

I breathed in deeply and blew it out through my mouth. Before I even took a step in, the bile in my stomach was churning like milk turning into butter. My heart just wouldn't stop racing, it was like I was having a panic attack – it had been a while since I had one of those. All of that vanished the moment I took a step into her room.

Mum's room looked remarkably clean. The bed's had fresh linen on them and the scent of strawberries hung in the air. The sun shone through, lighting up the inside with a heavenly look, the pinecone set of drawers resting in the corner. Had to say it was a lot cleaner than I expected it to be, looked like a hotel room or something similar. Mum surely was having a lot of luxury in what was going to be her final time on this Earth.

Mum was sat in a lime green chair with little dark roses drawn on them, not to dissimilar to the dress she was wearing; in fact it almost camouflaged her to the point that I couldn't see her at first. Her hair looked freshly brushed and even from this far I could smell cinnamon emanating from it. She looked up, her skin shining in the sunlight. Her skin looked leathery and ridged, better than I was expecting it to be. She looked like one of those sweet old grannies you saw in life insurance commercials, nothing like the evil witch that I remembered her to be.

"Yes, dear?" she said. "Is it time for dinner yet?"

I was so taken aback by her pleasing appearance that the words I wanted to say to her got locked away inside my mouth, and no key I had could release them. All I could do was smile.