Just save me

Chapter 7

After reminiscing of last year, twenty-five minutes remained of lunch. I decided to wait outside the classroom. Oddly, I felt comfort in the dungeons. It seemed to be one of the only places I was allowed to be left alone. Unless, of course, I happened to stumble upon a Slytherin; They will verbally and maybe even physically bully you at any given chance. However, I am being a bit stereotypical. I mean, the Prince of Slytherin just comforted me and wiped away my tears. I was never truly fond of stereotypical people, and here I am being stereotypical. Although, I was never truly fond of myself as well so, that would prove a point. I mean, if you are not particularly happy about something another person does, and you start doing it yourself, does that mean that you are "becoming your own enemy"? Is the fear of being different causing me to become everyone else? Am I so scared of not being normal that I am turning into every person around me, even the ones in whom I hate? Is the pressure of blending into society molding me into one of them?

I slid my back down the cobblestone wall, and I curled my knees into my stomach. I should stop thinking. I think too much, and overthinking often leads to sadness. 'Just try to clear your mind, Alice,' I told myself, 'Read your DADA book to prepare for class.'

I reached into my bag to pull out 'The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection Grade 4'. The first chapter was titled, 'The Sphinx'. I started to read: 'The Sphinx is a certain type of creature with a human head and a lion body. It is extremely cunning and will not allow its victims to pass unless they answer one of its riddles. If they fail to answer or answer incorrectly, it will murder the unlucky victim.'

I tried to keep my mind focused on what I was reading, but I could not help myself from letting my thoughts wander. Unfortunately, they strayed to Draco. Why was he so nice to me? He's never nice to anyone, including me. Usually, he just acts as if I don't exist. Why is he taking such a liking to me this year? Now that he knows I exist, what if he starts to bully me like he does everyone else? I don't think I could live if people started to make fun of me.

That is what I do not enjoy about the stereotypical depression victims. Most people think depression is only caused by bullying. I have never been bullied, the Draco Malfoy incident being an exception. I have actually been called pretty and nice quite a few times. I am my own bully. Sometimes other people aren't the ones to destroy us; Sometimes it's our own minds.

When my watch told me 5 minutes left until class, I stepped into the classroom. I figured some students would be here already. Yet, when I walked into the classroom, I was the only student. 'Oh no,' I thought to myself, 'If I'm the first one in class, I'll surely be called a nerd.' I'd rather not be the stereotypical Ravenclaw. Don't get me wrong, I love being in Ravenclaw. I'm completely sure the sorting hat put me in the correct house. I take pride in my intelligence, but I'm not boastful. I love to read; It allows me to escape the ordinary world, and escape to unknown places. It's just that, I really do not want to be made fun of for something I enjoy.

I'm such a hypocrite. I tell people that if something makes you happy, you should not think about what others say. If something makes you happy, it shouldn't matter what people say about you. If they make fun of you for it, who cares? Do NOT let them take away your happiness. For happiness, is one of our possessions we CAN control. Then I worry about what people think of me. Who am I to tell people to not ponder on what others think of you when I do the exact thing?! I tell people to be happy, yet I'm sad every moment of every day. It's-it's-preposterous!

I spun on my left leg, turning back towards the door, just to face someone's chest. I grunted as all my books fell out my hands. I instantly dropped to pick them up. My hands shook as I rushed to get every single book.

"On your knees often, eh Gateway?" I froze mid-pick-up, my eyes staring transfixed at the floor. No, no, no, no, please, no, it can't be him. I slowly stood from my crouch to face Draco Malfoy and his goons. Draco slightly elbowed Crabbe and Goyle, snickering at me.