Resisting Rosaleen (18+)

46

His eyes landed on the empty plate, "Oh, you ate already."

"I got hungry so I ordered room service." I stepped out of my room and locked it behind me.

"You ordered a rose too?"

"I felt like giving myself flowers," I defended before we started walking down the hallway and to the farthest corner where an elevator was close by.

"How are you holding up with the Nathan thing?" he decided to ask.

"I'm feeling better," I hoped that my reassuring smile did its purpose. We waited for the elevator car and traveled

down.

The first thing we did was drive by McDonalds for Wyatt's breakfast and I apologized for eating without him.

"You seem much better now," my brother commented as he ate in the car.

Jared and I locked eyes in the rearview mirror. It lingered. "I am, I guess," I said.

Once we reached a big compound of commercial buildings housing numerous brands, I was like a bird set free.

I was able to forget about my concerns for a while as I burnt one edge of my brother's black credit card. I almost forgot how much I loved doing it.

In front of a dressing room mirror with a shiny black mini dress hugging my body, I looked at myself and marveled at how nice I looked. From my head of black hair to the tips of my toes, I stared at Rosaleen Martin and tried to remind her of who she was before she became a lovesick little puppy.

I didn't look any different but I felt different. I still had the same dark brown eyes. My lips were still the same, my skin has the same texture as years before too. Even my body proportions were the same. My name was still Rose and I still glance when it's called.

Then I observed closer. My eyes, despite having the same color, have cried a lot. My lips, still pink and soft, have tasted love. My skin which I've maintained over the years, has been touched and caressed in ways that made it feel fragile. The curves and lines of my body that people admire have been molded against a man close enough to feel his heartbeat.

On the dotted lines, the name was still Rosaleen, but at the mention of a man named Nikolas, I turn my head as if it were my name.

I smiled sadly at the girl in my reflection. I haven't admired her much these weeks.

The last time I felt like a complete goddess was on prom night, but do I have to be in heels and a silver dress to feel beautiful? No. I'm beautiful regardless of what I wear. Rhea was right. Maybe focusing on oneself can get me back up.

From being involved with Nick, there's one thing I'm absolutely thankful for and it's that learned how to love others.

I guess I was wrong when I thought that my heart didn't work because it was working well and fine. However, I had always only loved myself and my brother. After the couple of months I've been through, I managed to pour the affection hidden within me to other people. If I'm being completely honest, I love my parents too, despite their faults and flaws.

To love others doesn't mean that I should love myself less. I was only realizing that then and the realization brightened the sad smile of the girl in front of me.

A tear dropped from her eye but it wasn't necessarily out of sadness.

"Rose?" Wyatt knocked on the wooden divider, "You're taking too long. I'm bored."

"I'll be out in a minute!" I half-shouted before wiping the tear away and getting dressed back into the outfit I came in.

My brother was seated on a waiting bench, phone in his hands and eyes on the device. Beside him stood our driver with shopping bags of all sizes and colors around his feet.